Nervous hearts .. (Christmas at the burrow 1998)

[headauror]

Harry swatted lightly at the annoy fly that kept hovering about his ear.. buzzing nonsense that worked to distract him from the beautiful red head leaning back against him as they sat beneath the shade of a willow tree at the lakes edge. No one else was around to trouble them. It was one of the rare stolen moments when he didn't have to share her with anyone else, didn't have to focus on anyone or anything but the fire haired girl whose hands were cupped around his own.. toying absently with his own fingers. No...no one about save that damned annoying fly.. just one problem though... flies didn't speak.. or insist repeatedly that you'd be late getting somewhere..

Groggily, Harry blinked open his eyes, a sigh escaping him as he lifted his head from the kitchen table at Grimmauld Place. The copy of the prophet he'd been reading earlier clung to his cheek and he reached up a hand to snatch it away with a yawn before rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. That done his gaze dropped to his watch and his eyes promptly widened. Merlin! the Weasley's would be expecting him in no more than an hour at most. Bloody daft of him to drift off like that! ..The insistent, chiding words that had been streaming from Kreatcher's mouth finally began to register..... going to be late Master Harry, and it's not the proper thing! I've been trying to wake you for nearly an hour now. Your things are all layed out upstairs and I've packed an over night sack for you as well.. Harry stifled another yawn and looked down to grin affectionately at the elf..

" Thanks for that Kreatcher, don't know how I'd manage without you.."

The elf smiled in pride. It is my greatest pleasure to serve, Master Harry.. The elf bowed low.If that will be all, then I'll leave you to your preparations.. Harry grinned and gave a small nod and the elf promptly vanished with a 'crack'. Sliding out of the chair he made his way up the many flights of stairs and into what was once his god fathers room, now claimed by himself. Kreatcher had made a point of tidying the place, the Gryffindor hangings held in place with permanent sticking charms cast by Sirius shown as bright as they could faded with age as they were, but the dust that had been settled for so long in the room had long since been banished by the elf. He needed to remember to thank Hermione one of these days, for opening his eyes when it came to the treatment of the elf whose mood had improved ten fold sense the days when the Order had used Grimmauld for a base. He'd have been a right mess over the last several months without his constant care and henpecking. Auror training, as it turned out, while as interesting as he'd always thought it would be.. was a terribly draining business as well. Not to mention rather painful at times. He flinched at the thought and his hand settled on a tender bruise above his ribs.. he'd let it go.. allowing no more magic used on the spot than what was necessary to mend the rib fractured within. A bruise wouldn't kill him, and it would serve as an fair reminder to keep his wits about him next time he was set to practice more extensive defensive magic. After all the aurour set to work with him on those had no qualms with using some rather nasty hexes and curses in his teachings.

Shaking his mind from thoughts of his training at the Ministry he turned his attention instead, as he undressed and showered, to ones of the family he was due to visit tonight. It was Christmas eve.. and though he loved the warmth of the burrow at the holidays, and cared for the family that lived there as though they were his own, he felt a nervous knot blooming not for the first time, in his gut. See.. that was the problem.. he knew..in his heart, that he'd very much like to 'be' a member of that family one day.. but Ginny had been distant the few times he'd seen her since the after math of the battle. He knew she'd been grieving for her brother as well as friends she'd lost, but he found himself worrying there was more to it than that. The whole of the family was was dealing with the same after all, and yet none of the others came off as being nervous around him, almost reluctant to be in the same room. He'd have comforted her if she'd given him the chance..some signal that his attentions would be welcome. But she'd taken to avoiding him, finding things to occupy herself whenever he'd stopped in, until, thoroughly confused, he'd given in and done the same. Choosing to stop by at times when he'd thought her less likely to be at home, a task which had become much easier with her return to school. His way of thinking? Maybe that's what she wanted,.. her gift to him on his seventeenth had left him originally thinking otherwise.. caused him to cling to a slim hope over the dark and seemingly endless months leading up to the battle, that in the unlikely event he survived he might still have some chance with her.. she'd be waiting even though she was free to do otherwise. But now.. well, really he hadn't a clue what to think.


Out of the shower he gave his head a vigorous scrub with a thick towel before setting to work dressing in the clothes laid out for him by Kreatcher. A simple, freshly laundered long sleeved shirt in a deep forest green and a pair of comfortable jeans. Adjusting his glasses into place, he moved to the dresser to wage war with his hair in the form of a comb and continued to think on his train of thought from the shower... It had been so long since he'd split off with her.. he'd done so with the best of intentions yet still it had nearly broken his heart... so what had he in turn done to hers? But it couldn't have been helped.. if she'd been hurt as a result of her connection to him.. his knuckles whitened as his grip on the comb tightened at the thought. But then that was old news right? It was over.. she was safe now.. and he could hope.. plead to Godric, that he'd not ruined everything thing in his quest to keep her that way.

Frustrated at his hair, which if anything had grown wilder as he had raked through it, and it had dried, he sighed and set the comb back on the dresser before turning his attention to a gift the size of a small book that was also on the dressers surface. It was wrapped in bright silver paper and bore a bright red ribbon into the center of which he'd tied a red rose, its stem shortened to make it fit better. He'd had Kreatcher's guidance in both the picking and wrapping of the item after an extensive session some nights ago in which he'd attempted to explain the extent of his feelings for Ginny. Really the act of giving her the gift had him ill at ease.. not that he didn't love the idea of it, as it would explain his feelings for her completely, just..he wasn't very good when it came to words..expressing himself.. in general. Add Ginny to that equation and well... he gulped and took a rather nervous breath before tucking the small package inside the pocket of his charcoal colored jacket and shrugging into the sleeves. The Christmas gifts, including Ginny's, had been sent ahead some days before by Kreatcher at his request.

Heading down the flights of stairs to the kitchen bellow he headed for the fireplace and reached for the tin of floo powder before stopping short and glancing at his watch, he'd made good time and would be arriving nearly a good half hour earlier than expected. Not that Molly would mind but still, stumbbling out of someones fireplace at an unexpected time.. it 'did' seem a rather rude thing to do. Waiting the extra time though would only give his overloaded mind more of a chance to reason its way out of why he should 'not' do what he'd set his mind to accomplishing this visit. Somehow he was going to find out just where he and Ginny stood.. how he was going to go about that? err... that part was a bit sketchy.. he had a plan, of sorts.. granted it had some vast blank holes in it that were contributing to the occasional twisting aches in his stomach. Grimacing as it gave another in response to his thoughts, he sighed. It would be best if he left out now, the sooner he could immerse himself in the Holiday chaos common at the burrow, the sooner he'd be to preoccupied to over think his decision and decided against it. Right..no hope for it then.. apparating..Merlin how he hated it. Sucking in a breath to the lungs he knew would be suffering in the next moment, he turned on the spot and darkness engulfed him..

Snow fell in heavy drifts about the front yard of the burrow. White powder flakes drifting down from the sky to dust the jacket of one very nervous young man. Harry had apparated to within a few feet of the burrows front gate and he now stared at the front door, doing his best to convince himself that the panic rising in him was daft..unfounded. He'd have time to regroup before seeing her anyway right? Probably spend the first hour or so in Rons room with him..catching up and getting settled. Steeling his nerves he let himself in through the gate and up onto the front porch, his hand hesitating briefly as it reached out to the door, before he wrapped lightly against it with a fist..

[ginny]

When her mother decided to decorate the Burrow for the holidays, there was little that could stand in her way of completely decking the house in everything from garland to sparkling lights her father had gotten from the muggle store down in the nearest town. Molly was always convinced that the holiday was just made better when all of her children spent hours spicing up the house to look its best in all of its Christmas glory. Lights had to be hung and trees dragged in from the woods to be adorned with sparkles and shines and bells and whistles and everything they could find. It made the house brighter and all, yes, but it could take a lot of time to put up all those things just to have them torn down a few short days after the holiday.

It was for this reason that Ginny was now almost knee deep in garland that she was supposed to line the staircase railings with. Magic should have made the job much easier, but the garland did not seem to want to follow where she was trying to twist it around the banister. It floated promisingly near the staircase but did not want to listen to the direction of her wand when she muttered about it wrapping around as her mother had wanted it. With a frustrated sigh, Ginny dropped the strand of garland to the ground with an angry wave and glared down at it. Why did she have to get the one that her wand would not help her properly? Honestly.

Ginny sighed and looked from the pile of garland to the railings hopelessly. This seemed like a fun way to waste a few hours, she thought darkly to herself. She should have been happy to be back home, but she could not help but feel dark and a bit mad about the whole thing. For one, it was her first Christmas without Fred sitting beside her at dinner and eating the rest of her chicken that she did not want. That was enough to put a damper on the holiday. Besides that, her mother had invited Harry over for the holidays, and he had, of course, not refused her. That would have set her off, for sure, he had to know. Even though she had seen him since the final battle months ago, usually she could move out of the room or find something that would not make the awkward silences so pressing. Ginny was fairly sure that with him staying for a good week or two, she was bound to end up alone with him sometimes.

It was not as if she would not enjoy his company, she was sure he would. She just did not know what he thought about her and what had happened between them, so she had elected to let him be the one who told her what he thought. From his actions so far, he was probably approaching the ruffling her hair and teasing her stage that her brother had now. He was training to be an auror, after all, and she as just his best friend's sister who was still working through school. She could get over it, she knew, it would just be easier if she let him decide whether he wanted to talk about it or not. She had been the last one to initiate anyting, and that had not gotten her much of anywhere.

So she just had to finish the decorations her mother had assigned here and pass the Harry Potter bridge when it came up. Well, what better way did she have to spend her vacation? It wasn't as if there was something better at school she would have stayed behind her. And, her mother would throw a fit if she did not act polite and normal around him. She would notice something in an instant, just like the rest of her large family.

It was not as if she had a boyfriend or something to keep her company. She would be on her own with her family to last out the Christmas. Hey, she had not thought anything exciting would happen anyway. She did not get her hopes up for nothing.

She was, for the most part, alone in the front of the house. Ron was doing something in the kitchen or something far from the front door and everyone else was probably outside. She had not really kept track of them all once she was assigned a task. Because of her position to the door, though, she heard a sound on the other side. Caution was her first instinct from her time at school while a war was spinning around them. She had learned to always expect the least likely scenerio. Now was no exception, and she felt the instinct to trend carefully.

Ginny advanced to the door while wading through the mess of garlands on the floor. She finally disentangled herself and rested her hand on the knob. As a precaution, Ginny's free hand came to rest on the pocket that held her wand, even if she should not feel the need to grip her wand when anything surprising came along. Some situations called for it, and she would not be the idiot caught unarmed. Old habits died hard, apparently.

She was unarmed in a sense when she opened the door though. She had not been expecting to see the Boy Who Lived, who defeated the darkest wizard of their time, all of those stories, and... her ex-boyfriend. No. She had not wanted to be the one to greet him. She had actually been thinking of all the ways that they could skillfully avoid each other without her parents catching on. What they did not know would not hurt them, right?

"Oh, right, Harry. They... uh, they told me you were coming soon." She opened the door wider, even if she did not want to let him in at the moment. "You're in Ron's room again. You... know where it is?" She was back in the pile of garlands, but she was not about to ask him for help. Maybe he could find some way to make his presence in the house a little less... well... It was really hard to explain what she felt about him staying in her house over the holidays. Some would blame that she would have a hard time staying away from him, but she wanted more than anything to have a reason to excuse herself from the room. Why was this so... weird? Before they had tried the whole dating thing, they had been able to have fun together.

[headauror]

His knock received an answer almost at once. It figured..just his luck that.. in a house crammed with the biggest family he knew, the first person to come to the door would the the one he was both most, and in a way, the least ready to see the minute he stepped over the thresh hold. But then that wasn't exactly right, rather he was thrilled to see Ginny.. just the shock of her just suddenly 'being' there... His green eyes sought to connect with her own, but she wasn't having any of it. After what seemed an initial bit of surprise on her part she offhandedly acknowledged him, opening the door for him to come in and quickly turning back to whatever it was she'd been doing before he'd come.

Watching as she turned back to the stair case, he frowned as her hand dropped from the pocket he recalled she perfered to keep her wand in. Was she still nervous, on edge then, about who might be at the door any time she answered it? The thought troubled him as he stepped in and paused just inside the door, hands shoved in his pockets, as he watched her. She had her back to him and had dismissed him in no uncertain terms by reminding him that he he knew where to find Ron's room. There was a problem with that though.. Ron wasn't the one he most wanted to talk to right this moment. Ron wasn't the one causing his mouth to go dry at the thought that she simply might not 'care' one way or the other anymore..

Hesitantly he let his sack, which had been slung over his shoulder, slip to the ground. With a soft, unaduiable sigh he walked over to Ginny, his hand lifting as if to touch her shoulder before he thought better of it and instead leaned on the wall oposite the banister she was working on. Silently he shoved his hands in his pockets and watched her. He was hopeing she'd turn, that he could catch her eye if she'd look up.. acknowledge his existence for a moment beyond treating him only as some casual friend of the family whom she hadn't much intrest in. Though maybe that was it, the 'where they stood' he'd been after. His heart ached at the thought and he pushed it away.. no, he couldn't just assume that. He needed to know for sure.. somehow..

He watched her as she waded through the knee deep mound of garland, was silent as she made another effort with her wand at wrapping the lengthy strands around the banister. He could all but see her temper at the task rising and he fought the gentle smirk away that threatened to spread across his lips. That was, until a rather upsetting thought filtered in.. or was it his presence that was upsetting her so? Was she still angry at him for ending things at the end of sixth year? She'd still cared after that, he knew she had what with that kiss she given him on his seventeenth.. the memory of it was so much like a thick and warming fog.. she's wanted him to remember her by it. ..Had she any idea that in the end it would leave him at times thinking of very little else, like now for instance? Attempting to steel his nerve, he reached out with a hand and gently, hesitantly made to place it over her own.. his voice quite and carrying an undercurrent of wanting to say so much more...

" Gin?.... Look..I.."

The courage fled him nearly as fast as he'd mustered it. How was it that he could sacrifice himself for those he loved, duel the most feared wizard in the world, and yet still find is so damn frightening, so bloody hard..to tell one girl all that was churning like mad inside him? Yeah he knew the answer to his own daft question.. not that that made continuing any easier. Rather than cover her hand, over which it had paused briefly he moved on with it to gently grasp the strand of garland she was struggling with..

" ..that is.. would you like some help?

He muster a brave and he hoped very friendly smile while trying to catch her warm brown eyes with his own. Receive some sign, any that she hadn't totally written him off. He was a prat, a git.. yeah he got that.. ditching her was a blunder beyond words.. but...if only she could understand why he'd done it. She'd seemed to at one point, but the tense feeling he was getting standing next to her now contradicted that.. Confused and frustrated he turned his thoughts instead to waiting to see is she'd except his help.

[ginny]

Harry had been to their house multiple times before the battle and even after that as well. He stopped in to let her mother fuss over him and clap hands with his best mate and nod to her when he passed in the hallway on her way to the kitchen. This week should not have been an awkward point that had her so on edge. For God's sake, if she was so worried, she should just tell him all about it, shouldn't she? She should tell him that he better not play around with her. If only he would just say something so she would know where he stood. It would be better than waiting for him in silence.

Ginny loosened her hold on her wand's handle as the shock of seeing him so soon drifted away. Harry was not someone she was supposed to be so anxious about. Godric, what had happened to Ginny Weasley and who was this weird girl in her place? Ginny turned from him and returned to her task of decoration the staircases. It would be better and easier for him if she followed his lead and let things drop. He probably did not want to talk about them or anything to do with it since he had never brought it up, even in the earlier months when she had felt as dependent as she could on anyone who would help her. He would want to see his friend who would be around somewhere. He could find him and talk about whatever boys talked about with each other all the time.

It was easier to not look at him when she did not know what he thought. Maybe it was the weaker part of her, but she did not want to be the one to be played around with or upset. She wanted to have a nice holiday and whatever Harry Potter thought about her was not going to ruin that. She would not let some boy ruin her vacation - even if she could feel him move behind her and it sent her heart into weird little flip flops she would never admit to. It was too embarassing to be like this over some guy who may or may not have even cared about what they had done in the past. She could not lose her edge over herself when she didn't know what he thought.

Again Ginny lifted her wand to arrange the garland around the banister. As it had before the Christmas decorations did not want to help make her job any easier. Her temper raised with it as she dropped the decorations with a loud sigh again. Part of it had to do with the garlands, yes, but some of it was over her own anger at herself for being so stupid. Why did she let anything effect her like this? After everything that had happened, she should not have been reacting to everything so harshly anymore. She'd seen worse than a boy messing her up, so she had to get over it or she would only make herself miserable this Christmas. With a sigh, Ginny lifted a strand of garland to try again. Calm down, Gin, she reminded herself. Get a hold of yourself, it's just a stupid piece of garland...

She could have sworn that she jumped five feet when his hand touched hers suddenly. She had not been expecting him to literally reach out for her. Ginny turned, her red hair flying, to face him. Her brown eyes snapped to meet his and drifted away just as quickly, nervous of what she would see in his gaze.

He moved his warm hand from hers, leaving it colder than it had been when they touched first. Ginny pulled her hand back to her side when he grasped a strand of garland that she had been trying to work with. "Er," she started lamely, looking up at the staircases leading up to the other rooms of the house instead of looking him in the eye. "Right, um, sure. I mean, Mum will want you to, you know, help out somehow. I, well, don't know where everyone else is. Around, somewhere." She sounded like an idiot, she knew, but she could not get her mouth to stop moving. Finally she seemed to be done and she stopped, standing awkwardly for a second.

"Go ahead," she muttered after a moment when she turned back to face him for a few seconds. "Just has to go around the banisters, yeah? Just..." She lifted another strand with her wand and wrapped it around the bottom railing. "Like that. All over. Yeah?" She nodded and turned back to her work, feeling the beginnings of a blush start to cover her cheek. She would have to work on this if they were going to be shoved together for the whole holiday here.

[headauror]

She'd given a start when he'd touched her, of that much he was certain. Now why she had reacted like that? He was clueless enough of the answer for her reaction to have caused his own heart to jerk within. Right.. maybe he'd gone a bit to far, or rather nearly had trying to take her hand like that. Boundaries Potter, she may not even particularly like you anymore let alone still feel the way you do.. Having taken the bit of garland from her, he eyed the task at hand. His gaze flickering briefly to Ginny's long enough to note she had no intention of holding eye contact with him for any length of time. Pulling his wand from his back pocket he began fiddling with the garland and murmuring a charm under his breath. He'd been getting notably better at silent magic the longer he studied with the aurors.. but the odd spell still held him up. And oddly enough the gentle level of magic required for this particular class wasn't one that had come up to often either in his time hunting Voldemort or during his auror training. His nerves had the better of him all the while.. still needing verbal incantations to hang a bit of fluff up.. Merlin, if that didn't impress her.. he mentally rolled his eyes at himself..

He was pulled out of his self mental pummeling by Ginny's voice. She was carrying on, rambling.. and damned if it wasn't cute. Taking in her nervous stance before she turned back to the garland his brow crinkled a bit. She was nervous? Surely.. not over him though... why would she feel the need to be? She, after all hadn't done anything wrong.. hadn't turned loose the most beautiful girl both inside and out, that had ever lifted a wand and then daftly waited the better of eight months to gather the innards to try and repair things...Hell he was 'still' trying to gather that courage.

He watched her for a moment more as her rambling died off and she stood in awkward silence for a moment. His free hand twitched with the desire to reach out to her, but after the start he'd given her a moment before he thought it likely not a very brilliant move to make just now. And then the moment had passed as she turned again to wrap a piece of the garland in place, showing him how her mum wanted it placed. Right .. just like that.. if only things between them were that simple, that easy to explain. He nodded and focused on wrapping the shimmering fluff around the banister, stealing side long glances at Ginny as they worked. After a few moments the silence began to get to him and he tried for some bit of conversation.

"so.. .."

His voice caught on the nervous tension in his throat and he cursed himself as he cleared it before continuing.

" erm... so.. how's school going? "

If it were possible to mentally face palm ones self he would have.. stumbling over his words like some frightened first year fresh off the boats...honestly!.. Smooth Harry, really bloody smooth.. He risked a glance at her before looking back to the garland before him. The fluff was doing its own thing really, the spells effect reacting to his nervous energy that had him in turn griping his wand to tightly one moment and nearly dropping it the next. Sighing a bit in frustration he let his nerves win out on a particularly stubborn piece and reached out to grasp it, taking the extra time to wrap it around the smooth wood by hand.

[ginny]

She focused on the garland and the task at hand rather than looking at him. For a Gryffindor, she sure was a coward. She could not even face her ex-boyfriend without rambling or going on about something he could figure out on his own. Honestly, what was wrong with her? Nothing ever made her this bad. Harry should not have been the person or the thing to mess her up so much. She had even known that he was going to come to their house for the holidays. Her mother would have freaked if he had not come where she could be sure that he ate more than enough and had enough presents to make himself feel like part of the family. She should have gotten herself ready to face him so that she would not stand here, rambling as she was right now. What was wrong with her? He probably thought that she was an idiot if he had not before.

Ginny lifted her wand again to work on the garland task of wrapping it around the banisters of the multiple stair cases that lead up to their bed rooms. Her hand shook slightly and the garland twitched in the air, but it was easier to think about getting her job done than thinking about Harry standing so close to her. They worked in silence for a few minutes as they both used their wands to tie the garlands up onto the staircases. Neither of them seemed to want to start a conversation or have the guts to even say something to the other. It was easier to stand awkwardly in silence, rather than trying to talk to each other or say anything that might bring up their past.

After what could have been a hour or so, Ginny could hear Harry try to start a conversation. She turned to face him when she heard his voice and tried to disguise the genuine curiosity in her expression as to what he was going to tell her.

When he did speak, his question was boring and easy enough that someone would not know that they had once been dating or even very close. Order members asked her that every time they saw her. Maybe he did not want to be anything other than that. She would have to get over whatever she was thinking and realized that.

"Fine," she answered simply as she lifted her wand again to put the garland into its place. He obviously did not have anything very important that was on the tip of his tongue to tell her. He was just nervous that she would want more out of him. That had to be all, it seemed. "Training is going well, I assume?"

Her tone was bored, she knew, but she was not in the mood to be treated like a child with someone who was only a year older than she was. It was only because of his position that he had not even had to go back to school with her. She was not about to be talked down to by him when they had something before all of this happened and he had decided that letting her go was the best and safest thing for both of them. He obviously did not want to work on what they had stopped, even if the fighting was over and they did not have anything to worry about. Well, as far as constant danger, anyway. She could not tell him that she might have wanted something to come back to them. And that something was their relationship that had happened during a year at school in what seemed like forever ago.

[headauror]

Harry frowned at Ginny's short and to the point answer. Was she really that upset with him? That she'd not be willing to even make a go of friendly conversation on a topic as harmless as school? Then she spoke again, her tone rather bored and indifferent as she asked after his training. Grimacing at the question he was quite for a moment. Really there was only so much he'd be willing to tell her.. Auror training wasn't exactly gentle..but then why was he even concerned that she might worry over any of it? With the way she'd asked the question..as if she had to in order to be polite, he was left wondering if perhaps she wasn't just angry at him but really had put 'them' behind her.. maybe the interest just wasn't there anymore for her and as he was now out of school and classified as an 'adult' she couldn't be bothered to go beyond the polite responses her family would expect of her. That seemingly very likely possibility wrenched an invisible knife wedged somewhere in the area of his heart and he struggled to keep his voice from giving way feelings as he nodded a bit, still hanging the fluff, and replied.

" Oh.. good ..great actually... really interesting, keeps me busy.."

He furrowed his brow, silently berating himself for tripping over his own words again. This was ridiculous..honestly! He'd steeled his nerves enough to look death in the eye and give himself over to it not a year ago, and yet was letting fear get the better of him.. fear that was going to cost him the girl he'd fallen so hard for that he knew he'd be lost if he'd waited to long, lost his chance with her. Fear of.. of what exactly? That she'd blow him off? Take the mickey out of him for giving it a go? So what if she did..at least he'd know right? Be able to get on with being miserable and living life as best he could. Right then.. fueled by his own silent pep talk he abandoned the garland and turned towards Ginny, stepping closer to her, and reaching out a hand to still her own from her task. His green eyes seeking out her brown..

" Look Gin, ..about us.. well,... see I know really there is no us at the moment, but... "

Sighing he dropped his gaze and ran his free hand through his thick unruly hair in frustration..this really wasn't coming out right. He started again..

" What I mean to say is.. "

That was as far as he got as with the opening of the front door and the carrying voice of Mrs. Weasley, he jumped a bit. His courage suddenly fled and he ducked back quickly to his task. Glancing up briefly at Ginny with something between a grimace of embarrassment and an apologetic look he pulled his gaze back to the garland just as Mrs. Weasley apparently noticed his presence. Harry dear!.. Come, let me have a look at you! Harry tried to banish his nerves and leave nothing but a warm smile as Molly bustled up the steps and eyed his face and skin tone before pulling him into a warm hug.Kreatcher's been feeding you well enough I see.. though you do look awfully tired dear, are you sure you've been getting enough rest?.. As usual she didn't allow for much of a response before continuing on in her mothering way..No matter.. we'll soon have you rested up..you will be staying the week you'd hoped for won't you? .. Now, the both of you.. She shooed a hand at both he and Ginny.. off to the kitchen... there's warm cider heating in the cauldron, I'll send the others in as I see them and we'll have dinner shortly.. Harry glanced back at the railings and the unfinished garland, feeling rather bad to be leaving the job undone, but guessing at his thoughts Mrs. Weasley shook her head and shooed him on again. no, now.. don't worry yourself over that dear..I'll have it up in no time.. go on now and relax.. your on Holiday after all.

While leaving Mrs. Weasley to finish their task didn't set to well, Harry had learned long ago it was best to simply do as Molly wanted when ever possible. He couldn't help but grin at the older woman's mothering, it was one of the many things that had made him care so deeply about this family. Going down the stairs he made his way to the kitchen, assuming that Ginny was fallowing and yet not looking back to check. The nerve he'd built up had long sense departed and he now worried over what must be going through Ginny's mind at his unfinished comments only moments before. Reaching the kitchen he pulled a cup from the cupboard and headed for the cauldron simmering over the fire. Grasping the ladle he used the spoon to toy with the spicy smelling liquid within, using the the pretense of giving it a bit of a stir as a means to bye himself time before having to face Ginny again.

[ginny]

Yes, it would be easier to hold the front that she thought the same thing he obviously did. He did not want anything to do with her again, so she would make his exit easy. She did not want Ron overreacting or pulling him into something that she could easily eliminate. If he thought that she was fine with them being nothing, he would feel better, since he obviously felt the same way. He didn't want anything to do with her anymore, at least not on that front. For him, she would not press anything on him or try to make him come back around. She did not want to upset him or make things worse between them. Maybe, over time, he would get that they were on the same footing and they would be better at this. They would be able to talk and be friends like they were before... before a lot had happened. They did not have to talk about it, though. What good would it do us now when he did not want to be like that with her anymore?

Ginny nodded and kept her eyes on the floating bit of garland that wound itself around the staircase with the instruction of her raised wand. "Good to hear," she answered simply as that garland tied itself off, and she turned to move another. The sooner this was done, the sooner she could go into the kitchen and steal one of the cookies from the trays her mother had set out to cool. When she asked, Ginny could laugh and blame one of her many brothers as she always did for stealing some of the cookies that were to be saved until later. Everyone always snuck some while Molly wasn't looking, though, so she had to have caught on somewhat by now. She made extras just in case they felt like taking some of them without her consent.

Her thoughts turned happily to gingerbread and peanut butter and chocolate. That was a much safer, happier topic than what would not be between them anymore. Cookies were a better thing to think about this close to Christmas. She was content on this thought line... until she felt the familiar shock come up through her arm that meant he had reached out a touched her. She almost jerked away, but the warmth of his hand over hers kept her in her place. She only turned to try to meet his eyes and see what he was thinking.

Her voice and breath caught in her throat when he spoke. The awkward tremor beneath his words was back, and she could not help the flying sinsation she felt. No, she was not over him she knew now. No, she had fallen much to hard for him to be healthy. Just a few nervous words from him had her heart going like a rabbit's. What did he mean by his speech. Her continued, and she recognized the gesture of running a hand through his hair. She remembered smoothing it down when he was upset. Now, though, what did it all mean? She wanted to ask him when she heard a sound behind them.

They tore apart quickly when her mother came into the room. She still did not know of what had gone on in school, she realized as she tried to look as if she had been at her task the whole time. The red on her cheeks could only give her away, so she turned away from her mother and tried to untangle a strand of garland by hand. She let her mother worry over Harry, because it let her take a moment to compose herself and make sure that she looked normal when she turned back around to face her mother. She would notice if something was up right away. She turned around when she was sure her flaming cheeks were back to normal again, and her mother was sending them off to the kitchen to get cider where she would steal a few cookies. Her mother promised to finish the job and sent them off. It only put them alone together, and Ginny was not sure how she felt about it. His last words had made her question if he really did want nothing to do with her that way. Would he had stuttered if he was no longer interested?

Ginny followed him as he ducked into the kitchen that was warm and alive with the smell of cider and cookies and Christmas treats that had been baked only that morning to prepare for the holiday. He stayed turned to the cider, and she took a deep breath. It was now or never to let him know where she stood, wasn't it? What was the worst that could happen? He would turn her down? At least she would know where they stood and how he felt about her. Then she could move on properly and do them both a favor. She pushed a chair aside and made her way to the place beside him. She brushed her hand over his to take the ladle from his hand. She put some in her own cup and took a sip. She looked over at him through the corner of her eye and took another breath. "What were you saying about... us, Harry?" Her tone was the warmest she had used the whole time he was over. He would notice that. Would he knew what it meant? Moreover, would he know how she felt and would he agree? "Because I was..." she struggled for words, "hoping, that we could figure all of that out."

[headauror]

Stirring the ladle idly in the liquid his eyes fallowed the swirling motion of the cider and his mind tumbled over the happenings of last few minutes. He might have imagined it, Merlin knows he wasn't exactly cool and collect himself at that moment, but had Ginny...blushed? Was he right in thinking he'd seen her cheeks tinge at the interruption to their rather awkward moment? And if he was right?..if thinking he'd seen such wasn't just a product of hopeful..wishful thinking? What did that mean exactly...was she only embarrassed to have had her mum walk in on them when he'd obviously been about to speak with her on a rather private matter? .. or was there more to it than that?

His thoughts were interrupted as she stepped up beside him at the cauldron. He was just trying.. rather desperately to find some shred of that fleeting courage he'd worked up on the stairs when Ginny's hand reached out and brushed his.... on purpose?..His breath caught and his hand froze in its motions at the hope. Relinquishing the ladle to her his hand moved slowly up to fumble with the handle of the still empty cup in his hands. Try as he might to pull his gaze up to met her own he instead found himself starring like a daft idiot into the hollow depths of the empty mug as if it had been used to divine his future in the left over dredges of tea and he had a true passion for such rubbish. And then Ginny spoke.

Her tone was so much warmer, dare he hope.. interested even.. that the spell binding him to the bottom of his cup was broken and he found himself quickly glancing over at her.. a heartfelt, if extremely unsure, smile tugging up one corner of his lips in a rather lopsided way. His heart nearly leapt into his throat as Ginny continued and one word stood out among the rest..hoping.. she'd use a reference to the two of them and hope in the same sentence... well, nearly so... but still, this had to be a good thing, right? Of course she could simply want to talk over the desire to just remain friends, but he was really, really, hoping that wouldn't be the case.. and that he had in fact seen that blush.. that the brief brush with his hand had not been un-intentional.. that the reasoning behind her suddenly warmer tone was what he was hoping to Merlin it was rather than some odd form of pity on realizing he still cared when she no longer did. Hold it together Potter and remember the stairs.. he'd made her jump then, shy away he'd thought..by being to rash. It wouldn't do to have that happen again, he should be careful now.. give her time right? Or should he just flat out tell her what was on his mind as she was asking?...Why in the bloody hell were girls so damn hard to understand and yet this one so irresistible at the same time?? ..he'd go mad at this rate, he just knew it! He watched her for a moment with that unsure grin in place before dropping his gaze to the cauldron again and reaching for the now free ladle to fill his own mug.. he replied in a soft, stumbling tone..

" I..I think I'd like that to... that is.. you know.. sorting that out, us and all.. "

Replacing the ladle he put both hands on his mug, more for a place to keep them in his nervous state than because the cup required it, and managed another lopsided grin at her along with a tug of his head towards the table.

" err..sit with me?.. "

Turning towards the table he drew in a nervous breath and tried to still his nerves.. so it had come down to it..he'd wanted to know and now he was going to find out, for certain, Ginny's feelings on the matter. He was feeling much more hopeful given the events of the last few minutes and this was what he'd been nearly sick with worry over needing the answer to..so why was he such a nervous bloody wreck then??.. Sitting down at the table his eye caught on a hot tray of treacle tart.. its warm and delicious scent curling up into the air..invading his senses and making him feel...nauseous?!? ...from treacle tart??... right,...... the sooner they had this over with and out in the open the better..

[ginny]

Ginny took the landle from his hand to fill her on cup. It was more of an excuse to brush their hands another time to see his reaction than to actually get something to drink. It was hard to think about drinking anything, even her mother's cider, when her stomach was rolling around like this. It gave her something to hold in her hands to keep them from shaking or otherwise embarassing her, though. He wasn't looking at her either, which made it easier to look less embarassed or nervous and more like she was actually doing something. She poured some into her cup and balanced it in her hands as she transferred the landle back to him. Their hands touched again and she felt the familiar tingling sansation travel up her arm.

He looked over at her and she felt like she had to meet his gaze to keep herself from looking foolish. He grinned at her, and she could not help but return it, even if it was forced and only a half-smile. That could not mean that he didn't want something between them. He did, at least, want something, even if it was only a friendship. She could live with that, she knew. Ginny could live with him as a friend. She didn't know what to do if he wanted nothing at all to do with her. In the back of her mind, of course, she hoped that they could still be something more than that, but she would settle for whatever made them both comfortable enough to be in the same room without a problem. He dropped his gaze with her and she, too, looked back down at the swirling liquid. Back to looking at anything but each other's faces, she thought bitterly. He might have been just as bad off as she was.

"Oh, er, right. Yeah. It'd be... we need to... tie everything up, yeah?"

They both had their own cups filled now and had to look at each other. They could not look down at the cauldron and hope that it would distract them from what they had to do if the rest of the vacation would work. There was no way they would last the whole time like this, awkward and hardly able to look at the other. Ginny had to know what he thought about them. He grinned again and turned his head to direct her to the table. Ginny nodded and smiled a little at his comment. She sat at her usual place at the dinner table and put her cup down on the table in front of her.

Just tell him, Ginevra, a voice in her head said that sounded annoyingly like her mother's. He would want to know what she was thinking, even if he didn't agree, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he want to know what kind of place they standed on? Right. Yeah. Honestly, she had taken on Bellatrix Lestrange and been taken into the Chamber of Secrets. Talking to a boy she had known for years should not have been such a problem, even if they had dated and she still had feelings for him. "I, er, Harry... I want to say that I..." She swallowed and glanced at the clock on the wall. All of the males in her family were still outside (except for the hand she hated to look at) and her chances were disappearing. Best to get it all out? "I mean, I wanted to tell you..." She looked up at him. Maybe she couldn't do it. She couldn't let him say no. "I, uh, missed you."

Well. That almost counted.