Damien's Days

[.Vivianne Catherine Flint !]

It was hard to breathe to begin with, but now Vivianne wasn’t sure if she remembered how to breathe at all. She could hear her pulse thud violently in her ears, and it was difficult to hear anything over it. Damien could probably feel her fingers shake and could tell that she was soundly looking at her trembling hands rather than up at him to meet his eyes. Vivi bit her lip in concentration and as an attempt to stop the shaking going through her. It seemed to be of little use when his firm grip came around her wrist to still her nervous motion.

Her thin fingers froze at the second to last button of his shirt. Their shirts that had been freshly pressed in the morning were already rumpled. His tie was no where to be seen. One of her knee socks gathered at the ankle, all shoes were off somewhere. Vivianne sat on his lap and faced him with a knee on either side of him. Her shirt was already partly unbuttoned, his was almost done, her skirt rode up her leg when she leaned toward him, and their lips were red and bruised. She looked up when he didn’t speak but kept his fingers around her wrist.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she shook off his hand and finished the last button. It felt like something of a relief when she pushed his shirt aside and let her hands follow it. They trailed over his abdomen and around to his back. Vivi could feel his muscles stiffen when she moved her hands and ran them over his back.

She expected him to be well-muscled and strong, just as his body stature suggested. She paused with her hands resting on his back, but it wasn’t because she didn’t find his muscles to her liking. Something was raised on the skin, a thin line that she traced with one finger as if it would lead her to the cause like a treasure map.

Damien sucked in a breath and shook at the movement and not with the same pleasant shiver that made her stomach flip ordinarily. Her left hand stayed flat over the mark while she pulled away. Their eyes locked briefly, and this time he was the one to drop their gaze. She didn’t say anything for a space of a few minutes. Their breathing had slowed down slightly since a few minutes previously. What had been hiding on his back this whole time?

Vivianne moved and couldn’t feel any resistance from him. He didn’t stop her when she lifted herself from his legs and scooted to his other side. He seemed to let his gaze drop and act as if he didn’t want to say anything about it before she figured it out for herself. Both of her hands ran over his back now when she was facing it.

The first thing that struck her was the color. The skin had turned a seemingly permanent dark color that contrasted greatly against the rest of his skin that she had seen. Her hand searched for the scar, but it ran into too many for her to figure out which was the one that had exposed him. Vivianne’s brown eyes widened as she took in the sight of his beaten back.

What was there to say? Her hands continued to wander over him, and she was slightly comforted to the fact that she didn’t seem to be hurting him. Viv bit her lip again, but this time it was to keep a hot feeling by her eyes away. Vivianne closed her eyes tightly and opened them again without saying a word to him. Damien didn’t look back at her, even when her hands stopped moving over the marks on his back.

How could someone, a father, do that to his son? Vivianne knew that her father would have treated a son as if he was the king of the world. He had wanted an heir instead of two girls who would have to be sold off to rich families if anything was going to be made from them. Vivi refused to cry, though. It wouldn’t help him, would only make him feel worse. She couldn’t cry.

Without speaking, Vivianne bent down and kissed one of the more hideous and larger scars that ran from his mid back and curled around his waist. Damien finally looked back at her with a look of confusion.

“What are you doing, Vivi?” he asked in a voice that sounded like it hadn’t been used in years. Vivianne knew that it wasn’t the case. He had just had a hard time speaking, obviously.

Vivi shrugged lightly. “Kissing them.”

“Why?”

Her eyes drifted back down to the marks that covered his back. She was probably the first to find them besides the ass that had put them there. They were why he usually grabbed her wrist when she went to lift his shirt over his head in the middle of a moment. The reality of it came down. He didn’t just say these things. Someone really did go out of their way to hurt him and make him be marked like this. Someone spent time and energy carving out the markings on his back.

“Mums always are supposed to say that a kiss will make it better. I don’t know if it works. My mum was never the type. It’s worth a try, though, isn’t it?”

[damien]

50 words 50 sentences. Vivi/Dey, obviously.
---

1. Ring- His hand trembles as he reaches into his pocket, all the while hoping she'll walk out of this place with a ring on her finger.

2. Hero- She looks at him, standing in front her, putting on a brave face even though he wants to cry, and thinks that she's never seen a greater hero.

3. Memories- The memories flood back into Damien's head, of their first kiss, their first true date, and he knows that he wants her forever.

4. Box- he sets down the last box and sighs, looking around; because even with the place full to the brim with his things, she's not here, so it's empty.

5. Run- She runs as fast as possible, dark hair streaming, but he still manages to catch up, to see those tears on her cheeks that tell him everything she doesn't want him to worry about.

6. Hurricane- He shouts and she merely glares, both of them ignoring the gusy winds, focusing instead on the storms inside them.

7. Wings- She kisses him, and he finally knows what it means to soar through the air, like the Quidditch player he'll never be.

8. Cold- Her hair is thrown about by the wind and she shivers, staring out across the grounds, remembering how warm she was when he had hugged her.

9. Red- She rushes to him, trying not to cry at the sight of that color on his side, the color that seems to ruin everything.

10. Drink- His eyes follow her hands, watching as she takes a drink but ignores her food, something that nearly breaks his heart everytime.

11. Midnight- The clock chimes, and immediately he is out the door, his dark head seen ducking in and out of the moonlight, spending another night ignoring his mission and going to see her.

12. Temptation- Her hands are at his waist, her lips are on his chest, and he wants to go on so badly, but he's afraid she'll regret it, and besides, they're already late for class...

13. View- The sky beyond the owlery window was bathed in yellow, red, pink and blue, but nothing beat the vision of Damien, with his blowing dark hair and the child-like wonder in his brown eyes.

14. Music- He holds Vivi close, her arms around his neck, his arms around her waist, and listens as she hums a made up song that is the best he's ever heard.

15. Silk- Dey watches her eyes widen when she opens the box and grin, both nervous and self conscious, wondering if those pajamas were a bit much.

16. Cover- She snuggles against him and he lets out a sigh, wondering how long they'll be able to hide underneath here.

17. Promise- He whispers things to her, sometimes talking about the impossible, but she knows he'd die trying to keep his word, and that scares her and excites her.

18. Dream- It is the first time in a while he wakes up well-rested, the only thing bothering him being that her lips on his hadn't been real.

19. Candle- His hand skates over the page, eyes straining to read in the flickering light, looking exhausted; he doesn't notice her standing there, her expression heartbroken as she watches him.

20. Talent- "I'm not good at anything," she says, but the words are barely out of her mouth before he's sweeping her into a hug, kissing her soundly; "You're good at making me happy."

21. Silence- Neither of them make a sound, staring into each others eyes, content to sit there for hours and speak without sound.

22. Journey- She laughs, reaching out to grasp at thin air, wondering why his hands are over her eyes and his lips are on his neck, easily the happiest he's been in ages.

23. Fire- her face feels like it's burning as he teases her, all the while getting closer, and when he finally gets her backed against the wall she feels as if all the blood has rushed to her head.

24. Strength- Vivi calls him brave, but as he stares at her and blinks a few times, all he can think about is how she's the only thing keeping him from weakness.

25. Mask- She listens quietly as he screams at the world, hating his job and his life, and moves to hug him when he and his anger crumble, letting the real feelings show through.

26. Ice- Her tone makes him wince, and he knows she's just pretending around them, but he never realized how cold her voice could sound.

27. Fall- Damien sees her body fall, and the scream of fury that escapes him send them running as he hexes and curses everything in sigh, praying to God that she's not down for good. (not exactly sure when this would happen. but whatever. xD)

28. Forgotten- Her homework lays forgotten in her dorm as he sneaks down the hallway, tugging her along and giving her that smirk that makes her stomach flip.

29. Dance- Sitting off to the side he looks across the floor, trying to catch her eyes and let her know how much he wishes they could dance together, like all the other couples.

30. Body- Her form fits against his perfectly as he gently pushes her down onto the couch, their lips molding together just after the first kiss.

31. Sacred- It takes all his restraint to keep from yelling at them all, because the way they talk to her isn't right for a girl so special to hear.

32. Farewells- he feels the tears on his cheeks, that mirror hers, as she turns and walks away, and he hates good-byes even more now.

33. World- They say he could take over the world, but she refuses to be in it, so nothing really matters.

34. Formal- Viv curtly nods at him, and he wants to rush over and kiss her, but he can't.

35. Fever- You pray over and over, wanting her to be okay, wanting her to wake up and show you that there's no need to worry.

36. Laugh- Her laugh is breathless against his lips, and it makes him push his hand up further, getting courage from the sound.

37. Lies- Both of them have lives of lies, and only around each other can they sometimes tear dwon the walls.

38. Forever- You promised to be there always for her, but you hadn't known then that she would make you take it back.

39. Overwhelmed- Damien stares at her in disbelief, as she's framed against the light of the hallway, looking sorry and exhaused, and he can't wrap his mind around what's going on.

40. Whisper- His breath is feather light against her skin, and random words make it through as she giggles and squirms.

41. Wait- "Vivi, wait," he says desperately, wanting to make this just be a bad dream.

42. Talk- He looks angry, but his grasp on you is surprisingly gentle, even as he loudly accuses you of not trusting him with anything.

43. Search- Her eyes show no sign of mischief, there's no smile on her lips, and as he tried to read her expression he realized this isn't a joke; she's leaving.

44. Hope- A feeling blooms inside you, and as you see her tears, feel her arms around you, taste her lips on yours, you realize that there's hope after all.

45. Eclipse- The sun is blotted out and he wonders if this is something he should study for astronomy, but suddenly he feels lightheaded and the sky isn't the only thing turning black...

46. Gravity- Her feet are lifted from the ground and she giggles as he swings her around in pure joy.

47. Highway- There's nothing to keep you two apart, you decide; no highway, mountain, or ocean will stop you from getting her back.

48. Unknown- "I don't know what will happen with the war, or you family, or my brother, or the muggles, or even the rest of our lives; all I know is that I want you to be with me through it all."

49. Lock- There's a knock on her door, and when she unbolts it and sees him standing there she throws herself into his arms, sobbing out an apology as he hugs her in relief.

50. Breathe- It was the feeling when they kissed; when he touched her; when she left him; when she returned and they made love; a breathless panic attack, scary and exciting, and something they wouldn't want to share with anybody but each other.

[.Vivianne Catherine Flint !]

#01 - Motion
Just the small motion of the circles he's tracing on her back are enough to distract her completely and make her want more.

#02 - Cool
Now it's harder because he knows, but, God, you need to do something so the cool metal goes across your skin, and you sigh in relief.

#03 - Young
The young are the only ones who really know love, she decides as she presses herself against him and aches for something more.

#04 - Last
"I- I can't do this anymore," she whispers at her feet with tears on her cheeks and the knowledge that she has to do this and hurt him so that she can save him.

#05 - Wrong
This is wrong, this is wrong, she tells herself over and over, but she can't stop coming back to see him.

#06 - Gentle
He wants it as much as you do, maybe even more, but he pauses and looks up and makes sure that you're still urging him on as his fingers move slowly over the buttons of your shirt.

#07 - One
He shouldn't mean anything to her since he's just a filthy halfblood, but she can't shake the feeling that he's the one person in the world who really cares about her and that she cares about completely.

#08 - Thousand
Vivianne can't stop giggling as he trails a thousand kisses down her throat and across her chin.

#09 - King
She feels like the checkmated king, hopeless and lost, when her arms are still around him and three of her fellow Slytherins walk in.

#10 - Learn
They both say that they're studying, but anyone who really cared to watch would see their hands brush every few seconds and his kiss in her hair when she gets a problem right.

#11 - Blur
Everything goes by in a blur of images and alcohol and unfamilar rooms when she can't be near him for so long.

#12 - Wait
"I can't wait anymore," Vivianne whispers and lets go of his hand, wishing that she could take it all back.

#13 - Change
Vivianne changes when they aren't alone; her voice is hard and she does whatever they tell her and she acts like she barely knows him, and though he knows that she has to, it breaks his heart to see her be so cruel.

#14 - Command
"Don't go," he says and catches her wrist as she tries to leave the room.

#15 - Hold
You sob into his shirt and want the world to understand, yet they won't, so you cling onto him and feel his arms support you as the only things that can hold you up.

#16 - Need
Everything is forgotten because right now she needs to feel his hands trace her body and his lips against her and everything that happens when she lets him push her down on the couch.

#17 - Vision
Vivi's vision goes blurry and she can hardly breathe, so he holds onto her and rocks her back and forth and promises her that everything will be okay.

#18 - Attention
One of her housemates pulls her along, away from him, and her eyes can't leave Damien as she's tugged back to their dorm.

#19 - Soul
"Maybe - maybe something's just wrong with me," Vivi chokes into his shoulder as she clings to him like a life line.

#20 - Picture
They don't have one picture together, not one, so she always has to remember what he looks like in her mind so that he won't slip away and stop being real.

#21 - Fool
"You're a fool. Vivianne Flint, for thinking we wouldn't find out about your little boyfriend," Meg tells her with that smirk on her face that means that Mother and Father are certainly going to find out.

#22 - Mad
You're both angrier than you thought possible, and it's moments like this when you wonder why you even stand each other.

#23 - Child
"N-no," she practically sobs like a child when he takes her saving grace, the small, silver knife.

#24 - Now
"Not later, now," Damien instructs as he pushes a plate filled with chicken and potatoes and everything that turns her stomach toward her.

#25 - Shadow
Damien is over her, his body casting shadows across her pale face, and she moves against him with a sigh of contentment.

#26 - Goodbye
"Vivi, you can't -" but he can't finish his sentence as she walks away.

#27 - Hide
They're always hiding from everything, but it would only be worse if they went out in the open, she tells herself.

#28 - Fortune
She rolls her eyes in third year when the fortune teller says that she'll find her true love in the wrong man.

#29 - Safe
Vivi never feels safe except when he's holding her and joking in her ear and letting his hand wander farther than it should.

#30 - Ghost
Damien is above her with his hands on her and his lips on her neck when she wakes up to find nothing there.

#31 - Book
Like most Ravenclaws, whenever she wants to see him right away she just has to go to the library and find him hidden behind a book.

#32 - Eye
The world turns, and not in the same happy way that it did when he kisses her, and she falls to wake up in the hospital wing later with him clinging to her hand and praying out loud for her eyes to open again.

#33 - Never
"Meg, I'd never betray the family like that."

#34 - Sing
One time he walks into their secret place without her knowing and catches the tail end of the song she's been singing to herself all day.

#35 - Sudden
Suddenly it doesn't matter, what he's said or what you have or anything, and you just want to taste his lips on yours, so you do.

#36 - Stop
"Don't stop," she mumbles against his lips and grabs his wrist to pull his hand farther up her leg.

#37 - Time
They're late to their next class, but who cares when his hand is there and it just feels so good?

#38 - Wash
"No one will see us out here," Vivianne whispers as she pulls him down for a snog in the middle of the rain and lets the storm drench their clothing.

#39 - Torn
It's him or everything she's even known, and she knows that it's breaking his heart while she can't make her choice.

#40 - History
It's the muggle part of his past, Vivi tells herself; I can still love him because he hates his muggle parts.

#41 - Power
He has the power to make her shiver in the middle of July and cry her life's story onto his shoulder and get her to do whatever he wants, and Damien doesn't even realize it.

#42 - Bother
Damien always tries to pretend that her cold voice when they aren't alone doesn't bother him, but it's the one that sometimes keeps him up at night as it races through his head.

#43 - God
Vivianne doesn't believe in God anymore; if he existed then Damien would be laying beside her now instead of some boy she can barely remember.

#44 - Wall
You were fighting only a minute ago but now you don't care, you don't care about anything but the wall against your back and his warm hands trailing up your legs and the way his mouth feels hot against your skin.

#45 - Naked
Vivi wakes up to his skin against hers and a thick blanket thrown over them, so she snuggles into his shoulder and drifts off to sleep again.

#46 - Drive
Vivianne really thinks the muggles are out to kill her when Damien speeds down the road, and she clings to the arm rest.

#47 - Harm
Damien can't understand how she can do these things to herself and how she can think that she isn't beautiful when it hurts him to see the new marks on her and the long list of pounds she's lost.

#48 - Precious
Damien wakes up to find her form snuggled against him with her head resting over his chest, and he kisses her hair while she sleeps on.

#49 - Hunger
It's the only thing you have control over, so you pick at your food and drink something and hope he doesn't notice when your stomach makes a noise of hunger.

#50 - Believe
"I believe in God, Vivi, because he found a way to bring me to you."

[damien]

It was very late.

The sound of skin on skin was so loud that Damien heard it from the floor above. By the time he heard a second slap and a thud he was already pounding down the stairs. He jumped the last four and barrelled around the corner to see his father standing over Denny, a hand raised. Damien looked to his brother, who's face was red and nose was bleeding. he suddenly felt something snape, a rage unlike any other overcoming him.

"Get AWAY FROM HIM!" he shouted, and in two strides he was in his father's face, shoving him backwards. He saw the surprise in the other's piercing blue eyes, before anger took them over. Damien saw the hand coming right before it struck, leaving a stinging pain in his lip and cheek--the ring on his father's hand had cut him. He clenched his jaw and took a swing at his father, hitting him full in the face.

For a moment, he thought it was all over. His dad stumbled back a few steps, holding his face, and didn't move towards him. However, just as Dey turned to check on Denny, he felt a crippling blow in the center of his back, bending his body. He fell forward onto the floor, groaning. A swift kick in the side had him twisting in pain, eyes closed and face screwed up against the pain. His left hand scrabbled for his wand, but with a curse he realized he had left it in his bedroom.

"UNRESPECTFUL LITTLE BASTARD!" his father screamed in his ear. Damien turned onto his side, twisting his head and squinting up at his dad, a man who looked just like him except for the nose and eyes. A hate burned in his throat, making him feel sick, and scaring him because of its intensity. For a moment his dad just stood over him, panting, before his foot swung out of no where, right into his stomach. Damien let out a large grunt, doubling over and coughing, feeling even worse. He heard his father's footsteps fall away.

For a moment he simply laid there, trying to catch his breath. He ached, his face hurt, and there was a constricting feeling in his chest that meant he wanted to cry. To hell if he would, though. He still had to hold it together, for his mum and Denny.

"Duncan? Duncan!"

The sound of his mother's shouts forced Dey's eyes open, his hands pushing against the ground so that he could hastily stand up. He swayed and stumbled, head pounding, but managed to keep going; back around the corner, up the stairs. His mother was crying as he turned into the first bedroom, diving for his wand. Once he had it he skidded into the hallways and down towards the last bedroom, fear replacing his anger. This wasn't supposed to happen--nobody was supposed to get hurt but him.

When he turned into the bedroom he immediately saw his mother's small figure crumpled against a wall, his father leaning over her, his hand grabbing her hair. With a quick jab Damien sent his father flying sideways, where he hit the wall and slid to the floor. Advancing on him, Dey kept his wand out. He was pale and shaking, anger clear on his cut and bleeding face, because the anger was back, and was easier to feel than the fear. His dad shrunk into the wall, looking terrified.

"You. I out to kill you!" Damien snarled. When his father said nothing he turned, moving to his mother and crouching down. She stirrred, turning to look at him, and he found his own eyes staring him in the face, although his mum's were frightened, not angry. "Mum. Are you alright?" Her face was swollen and tear stained, but she nodded her head. "C'mon. We're leaving."

"You're not going anywhere!" his father said loudly. Damien's eyes snapped to the man, his wand at the ready one more. Duncan hadn't gotten up, but he was sitting up straight, glaring at his wife and son. "You are my son, and you will listen to me, you ungrateful freak! You'll not be leaving the man who so kindly gave you food and clothing!"

"I don't have to listen to you! I'm not your punching bag anymore! I'm legal, and I've had enough of your damn kindness!" growled Damien. He stood, holding out a hand to his mother, hoping that she would finally see reason. Sure this had been the last straw? Surely she would see that she needed to leave, had to get out now, while she ahd the chance? However, to his horror, his mum looked to his dad and shook her head, tears pouring down her face once more. Damien froze, unable to believe it, as his father laughed mockingly.

"She's not going anywhere," jeered Duncan. Dey didn't look at him, still staring down at his mother, who was shaking with silent sobs. "She's loyal to me, unlike you and your devil brother. She has more respect than either of you. I've had enough of you! Go, then! Take your brother and leave, if you even have somewhere to go. But don't come back, for food or money or shelter! And don't expect your mummy to come with you."

"M-Mum, please," Damien pleaded softly, his voice shaking. His wand had dropped to his side, his faced scared, eyes moisted. "He beats you. He controls you. You can't be happy. He doesn't love you. Please, come with me. We'll go somewhere!"

"N-No, I c-can't," she whispered. Damien felt as if his stomach had dropped to his toes, his heart turned to lead. No. This couldn't be happeneing. "You don't have to leave, baby."

"He beats me!" he exclaimed, and realized his voice was a shout. His mum winced. "When you're in trouble, he beat me because I was there! He hates me most! He's hated me since I was born! And he beats you, and Denny, when I'm not around to save you! I hate him! I have to get out! And-And you're mad to stay with him! I-I'm leaving with or without you!"

With those words he turned, exiting the room quickly. He stumbled into Denny's room and waved his wand, clothes and possesions he had brought along flying into a bag that he then shrunk, shoving into his pocket. He moved to his room, doing the same. After a few minutes he was downstairs, in the kitchen, rifling through the cabinet and fridge, cupboards and drawers. He stuffed food into his pack and shrunk it all down again, and managed to find some muggle money. He heard a noise behind him and turned, seeing Denny standing there, looking terrified.

"Mum's not coming," Denny stated. Damien shook his head, not tursting himself to speak yet. He continued searching for a few more moments, finding a few more bills. Finally, Denny asked, "Where will we go?"

"The Leaky." Dey was surprised at how steady and calm his voice sounded. He knew he was crying, almost sobbing--he could feel the sting of water on his cut cheek. Taking a deep breath he looked around the kitchen, trying not to think about his mum, who was surely still lying up in her bedroom. Would his father continue to hurt her? Would she ever leave? Would he ever see her again? "Let's go. I'm d-done."

Damien let his brother lead the way. When they passed the stairs, loud sobbing could be heard. Denny stopped, looking up towards the sound, and Dey was suddenly struck by how much his brtoher looked like their mum. Skinny, small, brown hair and a straight nose--even her eyes. "D-Do...Denny, do you want to say goodbye? Hell, do you even want to--"

"Don't ask it," Denny said, and Dey was surprised at how cold his voice was. "I'm sick of it too, Damien. And if she's not coming, I have nothing to say to her." With those words he continued on, with Damien hurring in his wake. They both grabbed their cloaks by the door, and Damien took a moment to check his pockets. One bag for Denny, one bag for him, a little food and some muggle money to exchange for galleons. The two brother's eyes met, and Dey offered an arm, which his younger brother took. Damien twisted, and his face was now dry, determined, indifferent.

A loud pop echoed in the Inglebee house on Christmas morning.

[damien]

"Have you had enough? Huh? Answer me!"

"No."

"You little-" SLAP! CRACK!

"St-Stop." CRACK! "Fine!" CRACK! "OKAY! I'VE HAD E-ENOUGH!"

Damien jerked upright in bed, gasping for breath. His hand reached up to clutch his t-shirt, which was drenched in sweat, sticking to his body. His heart was pounding so hard that he could see the movement through the fabric. Breathing heavily, he grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged it over his head, throwing it aside. That done, he ran his hands over his face and through his hair, falling back onto his pillows. As he stared at the ceiling, Dey reached back to tentatively rub his back. He could still feel the sting of the belt, and the remembered smell of tears, blood, and leather chased all thoughts of sleep from his mind.
--
"D-Denny? DENNY?!" Damien sprinted to his brother's side, heart in his mouth at the sight of the blood surrounding the younger boy's twisted body. He felt his eyes begin to sting as his gaze met the matching brown orbs of his brother's, which were dark and glassy. Reaching out with a shaking hand, Damien smoothed back a lock of hair from Denny's swollen face, as a sob worked its way up his throat--

"NO!" he shouted, bolting up, his hand grasping at midair. It took him a moment to realize that he was in his bedroom, and that his brother was not dead. Damien choked on his breath, drawing up his knees and resting his head on them, hugging himself so that he was curled into a small ball. That had been so real. It could be real, in the end.

The thought didn't help him.
--
"No! Please! I love you! PLEASE!" The cries echoed around the dim room as Damien watched his mother, who was curled against the wall, his father standing over her with a broken bottle. Dey tried to sceam out, but Duncan was already swinging, bring the bottle across his mother's eyes--

"MUM!" shouted Damien, as he struggled against the blankets restraining him. After a few seconds he fell out of his bed, landing on the floor with a hard 'thud'. Goraning he pried open his eyes, his body shaking--he was covered in cold sweat. Dey forced a few deep breaths, trying to calm his shallow breathing. After a moment of this he heard a knock at the door and started, a hand jumping to his messy dark hair.

"Dey?" came the soft voice of Denny, as the door cracked open. Damien struggled to his feet, throwing the covers back onto the bed and avoiding his brother's gaze. "You alright?"

" 'M fine," he muttered, settling back against the headboard as he crawled into bed. "Bad dream. Go back to your room, before Tom comes looking for the person making the floor boards squeake."

"You said 'Mum'," Denny said stubbornly. Damien sunk down into his bed and tugged the covers up to his shoulder, turning to face away from the door. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling his body shake, hoping it wasn't noticable from the doorway.

"Goodnight, Denny. Happy Christmas."
--
"What are you doing here?" he gasped, looking around wildly. Vivi half smiled as he moved to peak around the corners into the other rooms. "If my dad sees you..."

"I came to help, like I said I would," Vivianne said, and her volume made Damien hiss and cringe, it was so loud.

"You have to go. Now. My father will be around soo--"

"Who the hell is this?" a voice growled, and both Vivi and Damien turned to see Duncan lumbering into the room. His face morphed into a snarl at the sigh of a wand in Vivi's hand. "Freak girlfriend, son?"

"Shut up," snarled Damien, and saw his dad's eyes flash. In the next instant Duncan was by Vivi, one hand wrapping around her arm and twisting it, the other going for her hair and yanking it hard.

"Don't you dare say that to me! Don't bring freaks here!" Duncan twisted harder and Vivi cried out in pain, struggling against him, tears falling down her cheeks--"

"NO! N-no..." Damien woke up immediately, shoulders heaving, tears already running down his cheeks. He flipped onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillow, breaths coming out in choked gasps. "God, Vivi..." His whole body gave way to a violent convulsion, and as his mouth opened to let lose a sob his stomach lurched. Damien stumbled out of bed to the rubbish bin just in time, heaving up everything in his stomach. He wiped his mouth clumsily, falling to the floor and pressing his face to the smooth, cold wood, crying. Blindly, he sat up and grabbed his wand, vanishing the stuff in the rubbish bin before slumping to the ground again. His arms wrapped around his bare stomach, sticky with sweat. He hoped Denny wasn't able to hear him.

He didn't even bother to try and sleep as he gave in to the sobs, his body shaking well into the morning, as the other residents of the Leaky moved on with life around him.

[damien]

(An account of how Damien got his back scars. PG 13 for being a bit graphic, hopefully it's not bad enough to be R. Don't think it is.)

“You go on, alright? I’ve got things I need to do.”

Andrew gave him a calculating look, but Damien kept his face quite impassive, and after a moment the other boy shrugged and nodded, moving off towards the nearest staircase that would take him down to the library. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his way to the wall, leaning against it as the rest of the people in the corridor moved on, most of them not even sparing him a glance. Not that he minded. Finally, the echoing footsteps fell away, and Dey was left to the silence and his own thoughts. He grimaced, readjusting his bag on his shoulder, before pushing off the wall and moving down the corridor, his shoes barely making a sound on the floor. He kept his head down, walking aimlessly, his feet leading him onward without his brain having any real destination in mind.

Today was his father’s birthday. For any other son, today would be a normal day, only punctuated by the task of grabbing an owl and sending off a happy birthday letter, maybe even a present. For any other son, life would be going on as usual, no big deal. Damien wasn’t like the other boys, though, with his father’s birthday being a bit special but nothing spectacular; because today wasn’t just a birthday. Today was the nine year anniversary of the night Damien got the scars on his back.

Blinking, Dey realized that he was slowly going up a spiraling stone staircase, the air around him becoming colder. A minute later he emerged into the Owlery, and shuffled across the straw strewn ground to the opposite wall, dropping his bag with a thud. Leaning against the wall himself, he slowly slid down it until he was sitting, knees drawn up to his face, where he rested his chin. His dark eyes stared blankly ahead, and for a moment his mind was blissfully clear—no memories, no thoughts, no feelings. For a moment, the world seemed to stand still and silent; but then it ended, and the feelings, the thoughts, the memories rushed back, as the sky darkened around him and owls took flight in all directions, sweeping out the windows for a night on the hunt.

The house was silent, still. If Damien had to associate it with anything else, he would say that the house had somebody dying in it. Everybody was walking around on eggshells, as if the most miniscule disruption to the silence would set off a bomb. In a way, he supposed that was true—today wasn’t exactly a good day, after all. It was his father’s birthday, and from last years experience, Damien had come to learn that his father’s birthday was nothing to celebrate; in fact, it was something to fear. He had already witnessed his dad dropping a plate at breakfast and then chucking it across the room into the wall, which confirmed that he was in just as bad of a mood on this day as any other birthday in the past. So Dey had wisely stole up to his room and had been there ever since, keeping silent and occupying himself with a book or two that his mum had snuck him about different types of magical learning.

After a few more minutes of reading the same sentence over and over, he sighed and closed the book, placing it beside him and stretching his fingers, which had been curled around the front and back cover for the past two hours at least. Dey moved to the side of his bed and slipped off of it silently, moving across his room to the door, where he had a mirror hanging. He took a look at himself, reaching up to push his dark hair to the side and out of his eyes, and then smoothing his hands down his collared shirt and nice pair of slacks. His mother had insisted that he wear something nice today, in honor of his father’s birthday, but in all honesty he doubted his father had taken any notice to him once today. At breakfast he hadn’t been looked at by anybody but Denny, who had told him that he looked nice. That led to his father dropping his plate on the way to the table, which led to the plate being thrown, which led to his father being in an even worse mood and yelling at Denny for talking too loud.

At this thought, Damien frowned worriedly, reaching out with a small, shaking hand and grasping the doorknob. He opened his door silently and slinked out into the hallway, where he headed to the steps and moved down them and turned left into the kitchen. His stomach was protesting softly to the lack of food, and as he looked at the clock he realized that there had been no lunch set up for them all—it was almost six thirty, and the window above the sink showed nothing but darkness. No wonder his hands hurt from gripping those books for so long. Thankfully, there was something at the back of the stove, which meant dinner was almost ready. A sound came from behind him and Damien turned, his heart skipping a beat to see his father standing there, scowling down at him. Quickly he scrambled out of the kitchen and back into the dining room, pulling out a chair and sitting down, well out of his father’s way. He didn’t blame his mum for keeping them upstairs; no lunch was a lot better than a swollen face, which might have been just the beginning judging by his father’s expression. Hopefully, his mum had still made his dad something, because he knew that his father expected to be fed, especially on his birthday. Perhaps he hadn’t been though, and that was why his blue eyes had been crinkled in anger.

Damien sat in silence, alone at the dining table. He was situated at one end of the table, so he couldn’t see into the kitchen—he could hear what was going on, though. After a minute, he heard the click of heels on the kitchen floor, which meant that his mother was in there, finishing up dinner. The sound of the oven opening made Dey’s stomach growl in protest, and he glance down at it and placed his hands over it, willing it to shush. As he looked back up, he jumped to see his father in the doorway, tugging in Denny roughly by the hand and shoving him into a seat. Damien’s dad sat down on the opposite side of the table, glaring at the two of them with such intensity that Dey looked away, instead focusing on Denny. His little brother smiled at him, but he could tell from the wideness of his eyes that he wasn’t happy—scared, it seemed. He couldn’t say he blamed him.

“Roast beef, roast potatoes, vegetables, and Yorkshire pudding,” Damien’s mum said as she entered the dining room, carrying two plates. She set one down in front of Damien and then his father, whose face twisted a bit as if he had tasted something sour. Damien tried not to look at him, instead choosing to follow his mum with his eyes, watching as she left and returned with two more plates, one for Denny and herself. Hoping up, Damien followed her into the kitchen for a third trip, grabbing a small cup for Denny and a slightly bigger one for himself, as well as the juice from the fridge, as his mum got a bottle of wine and two glasses. They returned together and got situated once more, and with a glance Dey saw that his father’s face was red from anger. He felt a jolt go through his body—what now?

“Why did you give him a plate first?” he snapped, gesturing in Damien’s direction, causing the other three to flinch at the movement. “Does he bring in the money to pay for this damn food? Is it his birthday? No!” Damien looked quickly to his mother, seeing her turned down face and wide eyes and feeling a hot flush of anger take over his body.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, her voice shaking, making Damien clench his fists under the table. “He was just closer is all, dear. I won’t do it again.” She lifted her head and reached out to take his father’s glass, pouring a healthy amount of wine into it. His father squinted his eyes but only nodded, saying nothing as he was given his glass back. Damien watched him drain half the glass in one gulp and clenched his jaw, feeling disgusted, but saying nothing. The table fell silent again, as everybody set to work eating their food, only the sounds of clinking china filling the room. Finally, everybody was done except for Denny, who was picking aimlessly at just a little bit of vegetable that he had left over.

“Why aren’t you eating your damn vegetables?” Dey’s father said sharply, and Damien quickly looked to Denny, biting at his lip. Denny looked up fearfully, but didn’t say anything, instead just shrugging a little. Damien knew that there was too much for him to eat—Denny didn’t hate vegetables, so that couldn’t be the problem, he was obviously just food. “Answer me! You’re not getting out of eating your vegetables, Denny! I don’t care if you hate them or not!”

“I-I don’t hate them, I-I’m full,” Denny said softly, dropping his fork onto his plate, pushing it further away from himself. Their father stood up abruptly, his chair flipping over, face reddening in anger again. Denny let out a noise of terror, and at that moment his vegetables disappeared from his plate with a small ‘pop’, drawing the eyes of everybody at the table. Damien felt as if his heart has stopped, as his breathing caught in his throat. Magic. No, no, they couldn’t have magic happening, not today.

“YOU WERE TO EAT THEM, NOT MAKE THEM DISAPPEAR!” their father roared, and Denny let out a little gasp of terror, causing another flush of anger to take over Damien’s body. Why couldn’t their father be like their mum, calm and quiet and even tempered? The memories of his father from past years were fuzzy, but he knew that things hadn’t always been like this. He wished they could go back to the good times—where he was ignored, but where he at least wasn’t being smacked around.

“Dear, calm down, I’ll make him eat twice as many tomorrow,” his mum said quickly, and as she got their father to sit down and poured him a bit more wine, Damien slid out of his chair and grabbed Denny by the hand, quickly tugging him out of the dining room. Thankfully, there was no protest to this, and he was able to get Denny all the way to his bedroom without any trouble.

“Denny, stay in your room,” Damien said in a low voice to his little brother, who nodded his head and moved to sit down on his bed without a sound. Dey bit his lip again, worried about the way this was going. Denny was only five, he couldn’t understand that he wasn’t supposed to do magic, no matter how scared or upset he was. Now their father would be furious, maybe even start looking for somebody to hit around…Well, it wouldn’t be Denny or his mum, not on his watch. Damien’s face set into a determination that made him look many years older than he was as he moved back down to the dining room, a plan swirling around in his mind.

He was given the task of cleaning and putting away the dishes, something that he was always told to do by his father. Usually he would start them as soon as mum and dad were done, but Damien decided that for once, he wasn’t going to do as he was told. After his father and mother were done with their drinks, he collected the plates and glasses and moved them all to the sink in the kitchen. With extreme nervousness he moved up the stairs to his own bedroom, where he sat and waited for the inevitable explosion. At least this way, he would be the one targeted, and not Denny. Finally, after ten minutes of nervously pacing his room, he heard a shout ring from downstairs and cringed, sitting down heavily on his bed. Thundering footsteps made their way up the stairs, and in the next moment his father was bursting into his room, his hands reaching out to grab him by the shirt collar.

“I told you to do the dishes!” his dad snarled, as he began to drag him out of the room. Damien tried to get his feet under him and hurry after him, but gave up and allowed himself to be dragged down the steps, not even bothering to struggle, which would just make the fabric of his shirt cut into his neck even worse. Finally they made it to the sitting room and his father threw him down onto the carpet, where Dey sat up, swallowing hard as he looked at the angry profile of his father. His face was red, his piercing blue eyes blazing in his rage, and he seemed even bigger than usual. Damien shrunk down, wishing now that he had just done the dishes. Maybe his father wouldn’t have gotten anybody…Maybe he would have went one more day without pain, but now he had done this to himself. “You stay right here! You’ll be punished; you’ll see what happens when you ignore your father!”

His dad left, but before Damien could do anything more than wonder what was going to happen, he was coming back into the room, dragging along his mother who was white and shaking, her wand in hand. “Turn onto your stomach,” his dad growled, and when Damien merely stared at him while beginning to shake his dad gave him a swift kick in the side, flipping him over. Damien groaned, as his dad leaned down and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, jerking it up and over his head before he could protest. Dey pushed himself onto his hands and knees and looked back, eyes wide and face paling by the second. What was going on? What were they going to do? His dad turned to his mum, pointing a finger at Damien angrily. “Use your freak talent, make it bloody useful. I want his back bloody, you hear me? I’ve had enough! Use your wand thing and don’t stop until I tell you to!”

“Honey,” his mum gasped, taking a step back, just as his father raised a hand and slapped her hard across the face, leaving a red print. The room was silent except for the heavy breathing of his mum, and the shallow breathing of himself. Finally, his mum took a step forward and pointed her wand, her lips forming a word silently. In the next second Damien let out a scream, eyes slamming shut as he felt the skin on his back rip open. A pause, and then another unbearable pain ripped through his back, causing another scream to escape his lips. He felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks as he tried to roll over onto his back and shield if from any more infliction, but his dad kicked him in the side again and quit moving, letting out a sob. Another pause, another deep cut in his back. He lost track of time, only aware of the stinging sensation on his back, the way the hot blood trailing down his spine made him feel sick. A few times he heard a slap of skin, and somewhere in his hazed mind he felt fear for his mother, fear for how she must be feeling right now, having to do this to him. He hoped she didn’t enjoy it, like his father surely did.

Suddenly, the worst pain yet split his back, horizontally across his lower back, and Damien writhed, his hands scrabbling to his back as his sobs doubled. “NO! PLEASE! STOP!” he screamed, his breaths coming out in gasps, his head pounding in tune with the pulse running through his ears. He felt a wave of blood wash over his hands and gagged, prying open his eyes so that he could sit up and crawl into the corner, just in time to get sick. He wiped his mouth against his shoulder, panting as he collapsed, his whole body shaking. He heard, distantly, the sound of his mother’s voice, and felt the wounds on his back heal for the most part, the pain diminishing until it was nothing but a throb. Coughing he pushed himself up again, turning his head to peer blearily at his mum who was sobbing, leaning against the wall. His father was staring at him with a smirk of satisfaction on his face.

Damien slowly got to his feet and let out a cry, his back protesting, making his brown eyes fill with tears once more. As he glanced down at his hands, the site of blood on them made his vision swim in a wave of red and black. He swayed on his feet and fell back down to his knees. Somewhere, he heard the sound of his mother calling him, but as much as he wanted to comfort her, he was unable to do anything but give into the black that was calling him.

“Damien?”

The sound caused Damien to start, and he blinked hard, looking to the doorway just in time to see Vivianne appear. He took a shuddering breath, aware of the fact that he was shaking, his face drained of color. She stopped when she saw him, her eyes widening, and he mentally cursed himself for allowing the memories to come back. Why did he have to relive this, every year? Why couldn’t he just give it up? Yet the memories always came back, and ended in the same spot—with his mum calling his name, the feel of blood and sweat, the pounding of his head. Had Vivi not arrived, he would have switched to the next morning, when he had awoken to being taken care of in bed, his mum allowed to give him food and drink to replenish his body but not allowed to heal him all the way.

“Dey. What’s wrong?” Vivi asked, and the way her voice shook caused guilt to take over. He struggled to his feet, moving to her and reaching out with a shaking hand to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. He tried to smile, but when he failed he merely pulled her to his chest, holding her tightly. The way her arms felt around his waist loosened the painful knot in his chest somewhat. What was done was done. He was here now, with her. If he had to go through all of that to get to this point…Well, maybe it was worth it.

“Nothing,” he whispered into her hair. “It doesn’t matter.”

[.Vivianne Catherine Flint !]

Vivi swallows as she looks into the mirror again. Her skin looks white next to her dark hair and eyes to match. The dark circles under her eyes stand out even more, and it’s a wonder that her mother hasn’t asked what was wrong with her. Then again, her mother never really took the time to care. Why should now be any different? Why should now be any different when she feels like her heart’s been ripped out and hidden somewhere that she can’t find it?

Tracing her figure with her hands, she can really notice how much weight she’s lost in the past few months alone. Her ribs are poking out of her skin more than they ever had. It’s really a wonder that no one noticed anything or said anything. Normally, she would have heard something about keeping up an appearance. She could do what she wanted, but heaven forbid that anything about her say anything but her perfect name and what she should be. Never mind that she had a sharp pain in her chest every time she took a breath that was impossible to forget. This wasn’t supposed to happen to her. She was Vivianne Flint, not Scarlett O’Hara. Her world wasn’t supposed to end because she couldn’t see someone without people looking down on her and her whole family’s line.

With a slow, heavy breath, Vivianne looked over herself again and had to look away. How could she have let something like this happen to her? Her eyes widened at her reflection when she looked back, and her hands went over the desk quickly in search of something. She couldn’t find it on her first try, so Vivi opened the top drawer and rifled through it frantically.

She came up empty and went through the rest of her drawers. Who had been in here? Only a little while ago she had put one in there, just in case. Before, it was enough of a comfort to know it was there. Now she needed it, needed what it could give her, and she couldn’t find it in her vanity table. God, where would it be? She went through the third drawer again when it hit her. No. He’d taken them. He’d gotten every single one. Now she didn’t have any knives for her, and his face was spinning in her mind. No, she couldn’t do this.

Vivianne couldn’t look at herself in the mirror, couldn’t find the cool metal to slide around her skin, couldn’t stop thinking about him. God, how was she even staying alive? How was no one noticing? Vivi fell back on her bed and pulled the pillow over her head. She had been fine for the first month or so. She thought about him sometimes, but she could brush it off with something else. Then she’d gone to a stage where it took a few drinks and maybe another boy to get her mind off him. That had been fine too. She could deal with it when it came up.

Now, though, she didn’t know want to do. She curled up with her comforter and hoped for once since she left that she would be able to fall asleep quickly. It didn’t happen, so she stood and kicked the blanket off her. Without a glance in the mirror, she slammed her door behind her and didn’t stop at her mother’s voice when she slammed the front door too.

Somewhere she had heard that he had a flat. She pictured it as best as she could without ever being there herself. How would it look? Vivi pictured something and didn’t even have the ability to care if it made sense. She turned in her spot and with a crack she was in front of an apartment building. Vivianne knocked on the door and looked over the list of names to one that matched him. She must have been somewhat lucky, because his name was scrawled on the fourth floor’s spot.

With her hair flying around her in a tangled mess, she scrambled to the steps and moved up them as quickly as her legs would let her. She needed this, needed to see him, needed him, and she was just realizing how serious it was.

Then she was in front of his door, and she didn’t know what to do. What if he didn’t care anymore? What if he didn’t know what to do when she showed up? What if he didn’t remember her? The doubts sliced through her, but she kept standing up and forced herself to pound on the door in front of her.

Nothing happened for a few, slow seconds, and then the door opened. His face was there, really in front of her, and she stood frozen for another few moments that she couldn’t tell how long they really were. What was he thinking? Did he even know who she was?

“Vivianne?” Damien said after opening his mouth soundlessly a few times.

She didn’t let him talk and crossed the threshold to press herself against him. Without much protest from him, she pushed him against the wall behind the door and shut it with her foot when she passed. His hands went to her waist and tugged her closer while her legs wrapped around him to make her closer still. Damien hugged her to keep her connected while their lips never left the other’s. Vivianne’s fingers threaded through his hair as they had dozens of times before, and she tilted her head back to let his lips run kisses down her throat.

Some ragged breaths came from him before he pulled away enough that his lips were only brushing her skin. “Vivi? What are we doing?”

Vivianne shook her head and let her hair fall over her shoulders messily. “Kiss me now,” she breathed, “talk later.”

He seemed to hesitant, but he leaned forward and pressed her against the wall against with his lips going greedily over hers. She couldn’t think about anything but him and couldn’t feel anything but where ever he was touching her, but she didn’t even care. She held onto him more tightly and smiled against his mouth when he lifted her to take them to what she assumed to be his room.

They left a trail of clothes in their wake and could barely collapse onto his bed before trying to get to know each other all over again.

[damien]

She crosses the street to Flourish and Blotts, her mother hurrying at her side. The streets are mostly empty--most don't dare to shop long anymore, with the previous attacks on the Alley. Her mother seems unconcerned about that, though, and more worried that they'll be late for dinner. Why should she be concerned anyways? Meg's a Death Eater, meaning the family has an automatic pass card if anything begins to happen. No, the most important thing is finding this book and gettingback home to serve dinner right on schedule.

Vivi wanders from her mum once inside the shop, knowing that it will be a while before the right book in the right condition is found. Ther's a whole section of blank books and journals, and Vivi's feet immediately head that way. She's only two aisle away when something catches her eye, and she turns to look at a book. It takes a moment before recognition dawns, and then suddenly she turns pale.

Ancient Runes. It's the same guide he had for the advanced research he did, and she sees one of the symbols he taught her months ago. Love.

Vivianne can't walk away fast enough when her mum calls her back.
**
He can't figure out what to do. Why did he buy the telly and radio? Why was he staring at pancake batter, and a tub of blueberries? He knew that she wouldn't leave his mind if he did these things, knew that her absense would ache like a hole in his chest. Taking a shuddering breath he began to wave his wand, starting up breakfast, her face taking the forefront of his thoughts immediately.

Damien had promised that they would have blueberry pancakes on Sundays, and that's what he was going to have. It's not like it really made a difference she haunted him anyways, no matter what he did. A rune would remind him at work of the words they use to whisper to each other. Denny would spend the night in the extra bedroom, and he would think of how she should have been in his at night. Everything was tainted.

Eating the pancakes hastily, Dey washed the plates with a flick of his wand and moved to gt changed. Five minutes later his feet were pounding the pavement, breaths coming out in small little puffs that made clouds in the cool air. He would run until he couldn't think, run until his body and mind were numb. He would run her out of his mind, and find another girl for the night if he had to.

Anything but thinking of those dark brown eyes.
**
Her hands shook a litle as she looked at her food, stomach churning. She couldn't eat this--wouldn't eat this. Eve if she was hungry, this foodwasn't apetizing to her. Who had made this, anyway? Did nobody really know what she liked to eat? Suddenly, his face popped into her mind and she swallowed, hard. He had known, and he had even gotten her to eat it. Vivi's breath came out in a shallow gasp and she reached for he wine glass, gulping it down. More was poured and she drank that too, reveling in the fuzzy haze that took over the world.

His face was still there, though, and the haze was only masking it. Without thinking she leaned to her right, resting her head on the shoulder there. His shoulder felt odd; it should have been broader, comfortable like a personal pillow. Looking up, Vivianne blinked, seeing the Slytherin alumni her parents had introduced her to. He was giving a smug smile in her direction, and soon he stood, hand going to her back, leading her away. His fingers lingered on her spine, and she knew he was headed for the bedrooms.

She stumbled and felt that this was wrong, but his face wasn't in her thoughts anymore.
**
Leaning back, he stretched his hands to the sky, eyes bleary as he starred at the parchment. One more report, and then Damien could go home. He wouldn't really wanted to--the place was empty, after all--except that his muscles ached, and hot water would feel great on his throbbing left shoulder. Sighing he bent forward again, reaching out to grab his quill. A drop of ink dripped from the nib, and he watched it fall onto the margins of his paper. It settled and dried, and his throat felt dry; it had formed a perfect heart.

How was it that her face could appear so fast in his mind? Or random memories of her, of him and her, of sneaking out and snogging in the rain? Dey's eyes shifted to the window in his office, but wasn't surprised to see the night clear, no rain apparent in the stars. Magical Maintenance had just recieved a pay raise recently, so they had no reason to make it rain. The memory of that night trudged to the front of his mind again, making his jaw muscles twitch as he clenched his teeth. haking his head until his dark hair was disheveled he forced himself to focus on his report. When he got home he would focus on his shower, and would focus on going to see his grandparents. He would focus on checking up on Ada, and he would focus on anything but her.

Somehow, it was beginning to get easier.
**
Her reflection was painful for her to look at. Her eyes were smudged with purple shadows of exhaustion, her skin was white and washed out. Slowly Vivi traced her body with her hands, noticing how bad her ribs stuck out; she could feel the raised skin of the new scars on her stomach. For a moment, as she looked at the mirror, her body was different. Her face had a healthy glow, her eyes were rested, and her body was curved to an hourglass figure. For a moment, the hand on her body was his, and his lips were tracing down her neck, and it was months ago on Valentines day, when she said she loved him...

Snapping her eyes open, Vivi moved to her desk, seraching it frantically for her one saving grace. A few searches told her she didn't have one up here, and she felt her breath come out in shaking gasps. She couldn't do this. His face was there, eyes boring into hers. He was laughing, he was cursing, he was crying and pressing his lips to hers. Moaning, Vivianne brought her hands to her face, shoulders shaking. This was too much, and she couldn't even make herself go find her little knife.

Stumbing to her bed, she fell on top of her covers, burying her face into her pillow, shoulders shaking faster now. How had nobody noticed what was happening? How could her family not see her broken heart? Why wasn't anybody there to hear her sob his name over and over?

"Damien."
**
Denny won't quit looking at him, and finally he had to ask him what was wrong. For a moment his brother said nothing, and Damien felt a bit annoyed. Why had he been staring if he had nothing to say? Did this mean he could go back to his star gazing without having a pair of eyes boring into him?

"You said her name in your sleep," he said, and Dey felt his blood run cold. Very slowly he looked back up at the sky, forcing a few deep breaths, eyes darting around, locating Scorpius, Andromeda, the big dipper. For a while Denny didn't say anything, and he thought he might get lucky, the conversation ending her. After another minute, though, Denny spoke again. "Do you think about her a lot?"

Letting out a sigh, Dey squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out the stars. Trying to block out the memories of them star gazing was harder, though. He never had been able to thank her for all those nights together; she was the reason he got an O in astronomy. Opening his eyes again, he turned to look at Denny, who looked both serious and anxious.

"Sometimees," Damien murmured, and shrugged one shoulder. "Not as much anymore."

Denny accepeted this information with a small nod, turning back to the stars. When he was sure his brother was occupied with the sight he let his shoulders slump. It was easier to forget about her now, easier to suppress those memories. But did he really want to forget? Feeling confused, he let out a sigh, her name hidden in the wind.

"Vivianne."
**
Her legs took her up his steps as quick as possible.
He let out a ywan, wondering if Ada would stop by tonight; they hadn't talked in a while.
His face swam in her vision as she stopped at his door, her knock sounding much louder than it should have to her ears.
He opened the door, a smile starting to form on his face, before he saw who it was. He blinked his eyes, mouth open in surprise. No. It couldn't be.
She stared at him, her stomach a ball of lead. He wasn't saying anything. Did he even now who she was?
His mind was blank from shock. Her eyes. Her face. It was her; she was here, on his doorstep. He opened his mouth again and said the only word that would register. "Vivianne?"
Her name left his lips and she pressed into him, feeling dizzy. She was kissing him, hearing his labored breaths; her name had been spoken in his low voice.
Her lips felt wonderful on his. The aching he had felt for months fell away, and he found himself trying not to jump her. He tried to talk to her, but her voice told him no, and he felt his resistance falling away. He body still fit against him perfectly.

Together they made it down the hall, clothes falling off along the way. Her dress was off, his shirt was gone. HIs pants were lost, undergarments were torn, and suddenly they were at his bed. Damien placed her down below him, and as they came together, it was as if no time had passed. It had never turned into 'her' and 'him', they had never split apart. Theywere never going to split apart again.

"Vivi..." "Dey..."

[.Vivianne Catherine Flint !]

She couldn’t really believe that she had gone through with it all. It had seemed like a crazy thought when it had first come to her. She had been sure that he would reject her, maybe not even remember her. She pictured a different set of clothing in his closet and everything in the flat that would tell her that she didn’t exist to him anymore. She had feared the worst when she came in the middle of the week without any kind of warning that she was coming back. She hadn’t even really known the number or location of his flat.

The light streamed in through curtains that she didn’t know and spread across the comforter that she pulled up to her chin protectively. She’d actually come and done it. He hadn’t pushed her away. He had taken her back in. He hadn’t asked any questions.

Then again, she hadn’t given him much choice. She’d told him to kiss her and not think or do anything but find somewhere for them to go. Last night, though, everything had seemed to work. They had picked up where they had left off last time. They still knew each other better than anyone else could. Without words besides their names, she had felt like someone actually understood her for the first time in months.

Vivianne turned in her place on his bed while she kept the blankets at her chin. Damien was still asleep. That was a surprise. It was probably the first time that she hadn’t been woken by him in some way. He was always waking up before her. She moved over to be closer to him and lifted a hand to brush some hair out of his eyes. Damien moved slightly at the light touch of her hand, but he didn’t wake up.

“I want to make this better,” she whispered even though she knew that he couldn’t hear her. She was sure that she didn’t even want him to hear her right now. Her finger traced the side of his face and moved so that she could hold an open palm to his cheek. “I will make this better. Everything will be all right again. It has to be…” Vivi nodded as she talked aloud with no one else to listen.

That was the whole point of it, though, wasn’t it? Things needed to get better. She needed him in her life. She’d tried living without him and came out worse than she had ever been. Maybe he wouldn’t even want to be there to pick up the pieces anymore, but she had to try. She had to try to reach out and hold him again. She had to try to have him again, because it was now very obvious that she couldn’t just go without him again.

“I want to fix everything. I want everything we planned…” Her thumb moved across his skin while her eyes followed the action behind his lids. He was dreaming. He was off thinking about something in another world that she couldn’t touch. “I want you again…” Without thinking it through, Vivianne leaned forward to kiss him.

Even in the few seconds it took to kiss him, she couldn’t pull away. With a muffled groan as a signal, Damien kissed her back and pulled away slightly to smile at her and keep their foreheads touching. Their noses brushed in their customary hello from back when everything made sense. She’d woken him, she realized.

“Good morning, love,” he whispered in a drowsy, raspy from sleep voice. She’d missed that too. She’d missed everything about him and even herself. She hadn’t been herself when he wasn’t around to tell her that she was beautiful and that she could do whatever she wanted and that no matter what, he would be someone who was there to love her. He must have seen the look on her face when he looked at her questioningly and moved his own hand into her hair. “Something wrong?”

Vivianne looked over his face again and realized that she didn’t have to memorize it. Everything was going to get better. He wasn’t going to let her leave now that she had found that she had to come back. He was going to stay, just as he said that he would before.

“No,” she whispered, “nothing’s wrong. I was just… I missed waking up next to you.”

[.VICTOIRE GABRIELLE WEASLEY !]

#01 – Comfort
No matter what happens it seems like Damien will always be there to walk her home when she’s had too much wine, her voice of reason when she can’t think straight, and her rock when she just needs someone to hold onto.

#02 – Kiss
“Thank you, love,” Damien whispers with a soft kiss to her forehead when he has the precious bundle of pink in his arms.

#03 – Soft
Damien can’t stop staring at the new little girl, touching her soft skin, talking to her, wondering how such an amazing thing could come into the world by nothing more than himself, Vivianne, and love.

#04 – Pain
Vivianne screams again, despite the calming voice of the healer, and Damien doesn’t understand how he could ever have done something to her that would cause so much pain.

#05 – Potatoes
The mashed potatoes, covered in thick butter and gravy, make her stomach roll and the familiar feeling come to the back of her throat, but she looks up in his eyes, sees no way out, and takes her first bite.

#06 - Rain
Even with her heavy breathing and soaked, messy hair and clothes from running in from the sudden rain storm, Damien has never seen anyone more beautiful than Vivianne.

#07 - Chocolate
When she gets emotional because of the coming baby Damien doesn’t say a word and just comes back from work with enough chocolate to make her smile again.

#08 - Happiness
The screams are gone; his hand aches, and Vivianne lays her head back on the pillow to fall asleep quickly with a small smile of happiness at her lips.

#09 - Telephone
She asked for a telly and a radio, a stereo and blueberry pancakes every Sunday, but she never asked for a telephone in their flat, because she never thought he would be far enough away for her to need one.

#10 - Ears
No matter how angry she is and what’s set her off, Damien just has to lean close and kiss along her ear to get her back to her good side.

#11 - Name
He only gets her name out before she is crushing herself against him and the wall and whispering to snog now and talk later and he is carrying her back to his bedroom with their hands everywhere at once.

#12 – Sensual
Vivianne giggles against his lips, and Damien has to remind himself that even if it’s the sexiest noise he’s ever heard, she’s more than a little tipsy and he would be taking advantage of her.

#13 – Death
It doesn’t really strike him that death could touch them until she’s laying in a hospital bed and he’s clutching her hand to save both of their lives.

#14 - Sex
“She may blush when we talk about it, Seb, but she’s fantastic in bed,” Damien says before Vivi hits him and turns red.

#15 – Touch
As the days, weeks, months go by without him, it becomes harder and harder for her to pretend that the hands on her are his and that the touches she knows are from him.

#16 - Weakness
No one would probably believe that the giant Ravenclaw’s only weakness is a little Slytherin who isn’t even supposed to know him.

#17 – Tears
It seems like she’s the only thing that’s important enough to make him cry.

#18 - Speed
The days speed by in a blur of alcohol and unfamiliar people, but the nights, after the stranger beside her is asleep, cannot seem to go by any slower.

#19 - Wind
When she looks back on the time they dated, it went by far too quickly in rushes of color and emotion and left her all alone.

#20 – Freedom
At home there are rules and guidelines that set her whole life, but with Damien she can do whatever she wants and be whatever she wants to be – his.

#21 - Life
Damien says that he wants to show her everything life has to offer, so he takes her to the carnival and laughs along with her when they get stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel for half an hour and find a valuable way to spend their time.

#22 - Jealousy
When Vivianne looks over at her first and puts her head on her hand with a sigh, Damien can’t help but burn with jealousy and turn her to face him for a rough snog despite the fact that they’re in the middle of the Great Hall.

#23 - Hands
Her small hand shakes in his larger one as she answers her vows with a clear voice that shows much more confidence than he knows she has, so he squeezes the hand as a promise that everything will be far better than she can possibly imagine.

#24 – Taste
When she comes back and kisses him, he finds what every other girl since her has been missing - that taste that can’t be anything but Vivi.

#25 - Devotion
“Your consent would mean the world to me, Father, but I’m marrying him no matter what you say-,” and the harsh crack of his hand across her cheek ends their discussion.

#26 - Forever
“Yes, Damien, we have forever, so I guess I’ll tell you all about the baby we’re going to have in the morning.”

#27 - Blood
“N-no, Vivianne, you aren’t allowed to die on me like this!” he demands as her eye lids flutter and she bleeds more than he thought her small body could even contain.

#28 - Sickness
Every time she thinks about food her stomach throws a fit, but she takes another bite for his sake.

#29 - Melody
She would never call herself a musician or an artist, but Damien often found her humming a tune she had made up that day or jotting down a set of lyrics in the journal that hardly ever left her side.

#30 - Star
“There,” Vivianne says and points out a star while they’re out in the moonlight, “Think of me every time you see that one.”

#31 – Home
Damien makes her hide her eyes behind her hands when he carries into their new flat and sets her down with a light kiss.

#32 – Confusion
“Why?” she asks suddenly, with tears in her eyes, “Why on Earth do you want me?”

#33 – Fear
Vivianne screams in fear, so Damien shakes her awake and holds her while she sobs into his chest about something only she could see.

#34 - Lightning/Thunder
They both hug and kiss their little girl as she shakes with each crack of thunder and bolt of lightning that shakes their flat.

#35 – Bonds
“What have I told you about sticking your tongue out like that?” Damien whispers as he pins her wrists to the wall behind her and starts to kiss her.

#36 - Market
Sometimes Vivianne will go to the store, walk the same aisles over and over again, and spend hours picking out the food for that night’s dinner just because she can’t stand to sit at home alone while Damien’s at work all day.

#37 - Technology
Damien can’t keep himself from laughing the first time that she goes to change the channel of their television and looks at the remote control with complete confusion.

#38 – Gift
On their first Christmas in their flat, Vivianne sat on his lap and whispered the contents of her entry for the day they first met as his first present of the night.

#39 – Smile
The little girl in the bundle of blankets shines her first smile up at him, and he knows that he’s met the only person he could ever love as much as he loves Vivi.

#40 – Innocence
He’ll never get over the wide-eyed and innocent expression she gets sometimes right before they make love.

#41 – Completion
Damien could never feel complete unless Vivianne was by his side.

#42 – Clouds
It must just be his luck that makes every cloud in the sky look like some shape that brings his mind instantly back to her and the way that she isn’t by his side.

#43 - Sky
Vivi has never really understood the fascination she had with the sky, but Damien would always let her drag him out to look at the stars or whatever might be there that night.

#44 - Heaven
“I was so scared - so bloody scared - that I’d see you in heaven, waiting for me, and they wouldn’t let me in to see you,” Vivianne sobbed into his shoulder as he assured that she would never have to worry about such a thing.

#45 - Hell
“And I told myself, Dey, I told myself that hell couldn’t be so bad if you were there with me.”

#46 – Sun
She woke up earlier than she could ever remember rising in her entire life just so he could show her the sun rise of her twentieth birthday.

#47 - Moon
Sometimes Damien just lays beside her all night, watching the shadows from the moonlight move across her face and wondering how this all actually worked out so wonderfully in the end.

#48 - Waves
Damien takes her to the beach and has more fun watching her run from the waves than anything else.

#49 – Hair
Sometimes being able to bury his face in her hair and simply know that she is there and warm against him is the only way he can feel better about anything.

#50 – Supernova
Every night for a month she drags him outside to look at the sky with the excuse that maybe they’ll see history happen before them when a supernova goes off or an undiscovered comet flies across the sky.