Skirting the SPOTLIGHT {vivi}

[damien]

What he was doing was stupid and dangerous. They were standing so close together, in the owlery in the darkness. Her hand was on his arm, and his hand was over hers, and they were staring into each other's eyes. Damien knew that she could at any moment go tell somebody about him being a spy for muggles, and get him expelled and ruin his life forever. She could control his life, making him do anything she wanted in exchange for the safety of his secret. Not to mention she was a Slytherin pureblood, who should hate him, and whom he should hate back, and not have anything to do with her.

Damien tried to swallow, but his throat was so dry now that it was practically impossible. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, he couldn't function normally, and he honestly didn't care. His heart was beating fast, and his stomach was twisting and light and full of odd feelings. He liked this feeling that he was experiencing around Vivianne, this heightened sense of emotion that he had never felt before. When was the last time he had actually just let himself feel everything that the world was making him feel, and let it show? How long had it been since his face didn't have a mask that hid his emotions?

What does it matter that she knows about your spying, when her hand is on your arm and your hand can fit over hers perfectly, making your body shudder in a pleasant way that you didn't think was possible? What's it matter, when you feel yourself warming up in her presence, even though you should both be freezing cold because it's the middle of winter? Nothing mattered now, except that she was looking at him with those beautiful brown eyes, and one hand was on his arm, while the other hand was now resting on his cheek, cool and yet pleasant at the same time.

On top of all of that...she knew. She knew that he was a spy, and that his father had physically harmed him on occasion. She knew that his brother and mother were at stake, and that he didn't really want to try and ruin Hogwarts. She knew that he liked Hogwarts, and wished that he wasn't doing any of this, but that he really had no choice unless he wanted two of the only people that mattered in the world to be hurt because of him. She knew all of that, and yet Vivi wasn't running to tell the closest person that she could. She wasn't calling him a liar, or thinking him some sort of loser who let himself get beat up by some idiot. She had her hand on his face, and she was reassuring him, and now Dey had somebody who knew about the two most horrible things in his life.

At this point, Damien's brain seemed to get shut off from the rest of his body, so that he was moving forward on emotion and orders from the heart alone. He couldn't help it--not only was she touching him on his face and arm, so that his whole body felt on fire, but they were so close that a paper couldn't even fit between their two bodies. Damien felt his heart skip a beat, his eyes unable to look away from Vivi. The only things that were registering was that she was kind, and beautiful, and accepting. That she made him feel like he was on top of the world, and that this feeling was something that he had never, ever felt before. He had never felt on top, or important, and now suddenly one girl whom he had just met made him feel extremely special. Vivi was close to him after all.

Finally, he could stand it no longer. Something inside of him snapped, his hormones having had just about enough. Here was a girl who made him feel good. Sure, he barely knew her--but she knew things about him. And he knew that she was nice and was understanding of his problems. She was beautiful and kind and very close to him, and so he threw caution to the wind. Damien's hand reached up to brush away her hair, and his breathing felt sparse as he rested his hand on her neck. Leaning down to her, he saw her rise up a bit on her toes, making it that much easier for him to close his eyes and gently press his lips to hers.

Everything fell away immediately--the only thing real in this world was himself and Vivi, and their warm lips pressed together in a sweet kiss. He only barely realized that he was holding her up around the waist, and that she had her hands on his shoulders now in a gentle grip that just felt right somehow. Everything felt right, and with his lips pressed against hers and his mind switched off, he was perfectly content. Then, his mind suddenly blinked back into life, and reasoning tried to take over again. Thinking seemed to ruin everything when it came to these feelings, because his reasoning was telling him that kissing Vivi was wrong of him. Never mind that she had lifted herself up to meet him, and that her lips were moving against his own in a sweet kiss that she didn't seem to mind. His brain was telling him that maybe this was going too fast, that maybe she had a boyfriend, and maybe she didn't want to kiss him, and he suddenly found himself cold as he stepped away from her, his eyes opening his body feeling suddenly horrible.

The apologies his mind spewed out barely made any sense, and he could feel his face radiating heat, his dark eyes seeming lost and confused. A horrible pang shook his body as he saw Vivi's eyes become moist, and his felt like the biggest git in the world. He had made her cry?! How had he made her cry? Had he offended her with the kiss? Couldn't he do anything right?! He watched her face with a large frown, trying to figure out a way to put his feelings into words. Her blunt question made him flinch a bit, and he felt more horrible by the second. He was sorry, but she didn't seem to understand it. He tried clarifying, feeling as if he was digging himself a grave. How could he have been so stupid?

Damien watched her, his breathing quick and practically panicked, unsure of what to say or do. Should he say something else to her? His mind was racing, but nothing in his brain seemed to make sense. He shivered, freezing now that his body wasn't close to Vivi's. He felt a disappointing swoop in his stomach. Just as he was thinking that he should say something else, just to break the nasty silence, Vivi suddenly dropped her intense gaze from his face and turned pink, leaving his baffled. He waited, and after a pause, she mumbled something that he knew would forever change things for him.

"I'm...not sorry." She...she wasn't sorry. She didn't care that he had kissed her? She wasn't sorry, meaning that she...she liked it? Damien took a deep breath, watching her for a moment in silence, his heart thumping so loudly in his chest that he thought she would be able to hear it. She wasn't sorry. Merlin, she didn't care that he had kissed her. She liked that he had kissed her. A hopeful, warm feeling spread through his body. She knew his secrets and liked that he had kissed her. He felt an unfamiliar sense of joy bloom in his stomach.

"You're...you're not?" he asked quietly, inching forward so that their bodies were close together again. Without any message from his brain, his hand gently wrapped around Vivi's, his eyes on her face as he ducked his head a bit. He chewed on his lip for a moment, wondering what this meant for him, now. Wondering if there was something meant for them, together. "I...I was only sorry because I thought you wouldn't..." He trailed off, swalloing hard, his tongue moistening his lips distractedly.

Slowly, Damien's right hand lifted up, one finger gently pushing up Vivianne's chin until she looking him in the eyes again. His thumb stroked her pink cheek, before he leaned down to connect his lips to hers again, his eyes and mind closing, giving in to his emotions once more. Screw logic and reasoning. This felt right. His lips moving against hers, his body warming against hers, her scent filling him up. After a few moments that felt like forever, he pulled back his face a little, his lips leaving hers reluctantly.

Taking a deep breath, Damien opened his eyes, his hand tightening around hers, while his right thumb ran across her cheek again. He cleared his throat softly, a small smile lighting up his features, although he seemed a tad nervous, and his own face was a nice shade of pink. "Would you like to go somewhere and talk?" he asked quietly. They had just kissed twice. She knew things about him that others didn't know. They really needed to talk, and the owlery wasn't as...private, as he would like. "I know a good place....If that's alright with you."

[.Vivianne Catherine Flint !]

She didn't know how long their kiss was. It could have been a minute, it could have been an hour, but the world rushed by her ears and left her stand there. He was warm against her as opposed to the cold winds that constantly swept through the open room. She knew that he was holding her close and that his lips were moving against hers in ways that she liked. She also knew that some unknown knowledge to her in her head was moving forward and moving against him. She pulled herself closer when she felt a certain aching in her body that told her to do so. It was indecent and her mother would have killed her, but she pushed herself against him and moved her lips under his.

She had never thought kissing was any more than a good bye that boys liked to force on you. Kissing had never been pleasant for her. Boys in her house were certain of their position over the girls they dated. All of her previous kisses had been rough affairs that made the boys happy and made her mouth sore. They liked to kiss her to prove a point, really. This wasn't like that at all. His mouth was soft and warm, and he was careful to make sure that he wasn't hurting her in anyway. She could tell her cared on the other end of the kiss, something she hadn't known before. People could kiss and actually care about how the other person felt. It was odd maybe that she found this out with a boy she barely knew, but it was better than any boy she had known her whole life.

It was something she had never felt before. While she had counted down for the other kisses to end, Vivianne honestly didn't want this one to. She liked the tingling that went through her whole body. She liked the way his lips pressed against hers with just enough pressure. She liked all of it, so she pulled herself just enough closer to try to tell him that in the only way that she could think of how. His response was a fierce chill that decided to go through her. Damien stepped away as if he had burned her and didn't look to happy about again. The cold came through her thick cloak quickly and chilled her completely. She shivered from the absence of his body heat near her as she stood alone against the shadow of the doorway out. What had she done? Had he not wanted her to move closer to him like that? He had not liked the kiss, not meant it? Maybe he had really been just trying to find a way out and had used a kiss to escape. How had she messed up this time?

Now his breath was not coming out at normal intrevals, but this seemed to be for a completely different reason. Everything seemed colder and more distant without his body right there. Moments ago she hadn't needed anyone because of the way she had taught herself to live. Now... Now it was hard to see the steps of space between them without tearing up. It was just her that something like this would happen to. She dropped her gaze to the floor and mumbled the only thing that she knew. She wasn't sorry. She didn't regret it in the least. She regretted that he seemed to think that kissing her was some great sin. She regretted that he had pulled away. The kiss was one of the the few moments in her life that she felt like something in her clicked. She felt normal and cared for and everything that she was supposed to all the time. Now, she didn't know how she felt.

She kept her eyes on the stone floor as she could have sworn that she heard his feet move across toward her. His voice was quiet in the echoey room that usually made everyone loud. His hand brushed hers and held on with some uncertainty. "N-no," she replied with a shake in her voice. Vivianne kept her gaze down. Now she didn't know what he would do next, not that she ever really had. His voice continued as if he hadn't heard her, though she felt it getting louder or closer. Vivi looked at their connected hands rather than at him. Damien had only been scared that she didn't care for the kiss. He obviously hadn't been able to hear into her head. If he had, there would have been no reason for concern. His voice seemed unsure, so maybe he was just as confused about everything as she was.

His fingers at her chin forced her gaze up to his. How had she not noticed how handsome he was? She just had these strange feelings that she didn't know how to respond to, and she hadn't really looked at him. He had sharp, almost pureblood looks. If someone didn't know better, they might have asked him if he came from a line. His dark eyes stood out against his skin as hers always had, but she liked the way his had a certain light behind them that hers never had. A lock of hair fell endearingly off from the rest and across his forehead. She wanted to brush it away for him, even though she was sure it would go right back. His thumb felt rough against her cheek, very unlike the smooth and never worked hands of the boys who had touched her before. Her mothers hands had always been soft and smooth as silk when they reached over to make sure that she looked health enough. She took a shallow breath as he leaned forward, and she felt his lips press against hers again.

Her eyes slid closed again, and she let herself fall against him and take in his warmth. He didn't object to the kiss too terribly. He had kissed her again, after all. She must not have been horrible at the kissing thing, if he wanted to try again. The sounds of the world rushed by again, and she wasn't sure if she could breathe the same way. He pulled away after a few moments that she wasn't sure of the length. This time, her eyes followed him back up. Though she chewed on her lip nervously, she felt much better than she had a few minutes before. His hand tightened against hers, and his thumb moved on her cheek in a sign of comfort.

Damien looked almost as nervous as she felt. He had to notice her hand shaking in his. Vivianne nodded, not trust her voice to work correctly. "Y-yes," she answered finally, the tremble of her hand in her voice. Going somewhere that no one could find them to talk seemed like a great idea to her. Now everything seemed to be catching up to her. What would they do to her when she found them together? It was better to never find out what they would do to her. They should go somewhere, especially if he knew somewhere that would work for them. She could trust him for that. Vivianne squeezed his hand and nodded again. "That sounds good," she replied in her usual, quiet voice and waited for him to lead the way.

[damien]

For many Ravenclaws, there was only one thing that went on in their mind, and that was logic. Logically look at this, logically look at that, well that can't be right because there isn't any logic behind it. Everything they learned had to have logic in it, and everything had rhyme and reason. Damien could confess to being a usually logical person, but things in his life didn't really have logic and reasoning. His father was an asshole because his wife was a witch and his sons were wizards--that didn't have much logic, really. Why was it him who had to deal with muggles and spying? Was there reason to that?

So, unlike many Ravenclaws, Damien also hoped for the impossible--to love somebody, to get away fromm the muggles, to make it out of everything unscathed. It seemed as if his mind and heart constantly fought over what to believe, what to say, how to act. Never before, though, had they fought quite as much as they did as he stood in the owlery, holding up a girl he barely knew, pressing his lips to hers as if she was the only thing keeping him anchored to this world. His brain and heart were on complete opposites on this part.

His heart had decided that this should never, ever end. Her hands on his shoulders were comforting, but it was the soft lips that were moving against his that made his body shudder in such a pleasant way. The way her body fit against his was comfortable, and she was so warm that he couldn't feel the wind trying to tear them both apart. He couldn't even hear the owls, who were all swooping away into the night. He didn't notice that Kent had screeched impatiently and flown away to go hunt. He noticed nothing but Vivi kissing him, and the way his heart was thumping, making it one of--or maybe the best--thing that had ever happened to him.

Dey's mind, though, snapped on, just as Vivi leaned into him even more, in a way that his heart loved but his mind seemed to hate. What was he doing? They didn't know each other barely at all. And maybe Viv wasn't leaning into him at all, and just had no where to go but forward because he had her in place, her feet no longer touching the ground. Maybe she didn't like him but didn't know what else to do when some huge guy randomly grabbed you and started snogging your face off. Maybe she was taken and just wasn't thinking straight. Maybe she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Maybe he needed to end this kiss, right now. So his body complied with his mind immediately, because the Ravenclaw in him was trained to do so--it wasn't use to having his heart call the shots.

The first thing he noticed as he opened his eyes, trying to catch his breath, was the horrible coldness in the airy room. It was freazing, with the wind whipping at them both, and without Vivi right against him. The second thing he noticed was the way she was no staring at the ground, her eyes filled with tear, the horror that seemed to scream out from her expression. He was so confused, so unsure of what he had done and what he was doing. What a screw up you are, Damien Inglebee--kissing a girl you don't know, a girl who's a threat to you, and making her feel horrible enough to tear up. He felt his heart lurch painfully, and all he wanted to do was make things better.

Her words gave his heart new reign, hope blooming in his chest in an almost painful way. She wasn't sorry. This gave him the courage to move forward, for his hand to take hers, clarifying what he had heart in a disbelieving tone. How could she not be sorry? How could she like that he had kissed her? He wasn't special, he was a traitor to the school, and not too long ago she had probably hated him and been prepared to be off to the Headmaster and let the cat out of the bag. But she had said she wasn't sorry, and she confirmed his question with a nervous no, making his grip on her hand a little more certain and helping his mind to agree with his heart, for once.

By the time Vivi had looked up at him, with those beautiful dark brown eyes that made his heart do an odd dance, he was already leaning forward, wanting to be close to her again. Her skin under his thumb was warm and soft, as soft as her lips as he kissed her again, a new confidence in his body sharing the room with his nerves. The world narrowed down to just them again, this kiss even better than the last. This wasn't as sudden, there was no doubt in his mind now. She liked him, and liked the kiss. She was kissing him back, and damn if this wasn't the best thing he had ever felt. Had there not been things to say and do, he never would have pulled away, but his breathing was crazy enough as is, so he slowly disconnected their lips, his eyes locking with hers as he pulled back a bit.

She was beautiful. There was simply no other word for it. He didn't think many girls were beautiful, really, not in the same way that he thought of Vivianne. His mother was beautiful, and Ada was beautiful, but their beauty didn't send shocks through his spine, didn't make his heart race, didn't make him want to stare at them all day long. Her face was pale, but it went perfectly with her dark hair and eyes. Her features were similar to his, when, he really thought about it. She pulled it all together, though, in a way that made her simply marvelous. Damien licked his lips, feeling horribly nervous.

He tightened his hold on her hand and stroked her cheek once more, loving the feel of her skin against his calloused hands. He was sure the nerves he felt shone through to his voice as he asked if she would like to go somewhere. Thankfully, she gave him a nod, answering yes in a way that made him suspect she was just as nervous as him. The second time she spoke it was more collected, and he straightened up, taking a deep breath and willing himself to calm down. Dey dropped his hand from her face and worked his way past her, tugging her along by the hand that he still held.

Down the spiraling staircase they went, Damien barely making a sound, his steps smooth and sneaky from a few months practice. As they made it to the seventh floor he switched the hands that held onto Vivi's, taking his wand into his left hand and lighting it up silently, pointing it mostly downward as the darkness swallowed them. He moved along the corridor in the direction of the Ravenclaw tower, glancing back periodically to smile a bit nervously at Vivi. Finally, as they neared the entrance to the tower and his common room, he turned to a tapestry and pushed on it, leading Vivi into a quiet turn off from the corridor that held a stone bench that he headed towards. He sat on it and tugged her down beside him, pointing his wand at a nearby torch, which flammed to light.

"Barely anybody knows about this thing, and I know none of the prefects do. Half of them don't even make rounds this way, because they don't really expect Ravenclaws to be out of bed," Damien said, half smiling as he stowed away his wand into his pocket. He noticed that he had pulled Vivi down next to him quite close, so that their legs were touching, and he swallowed hard. Cautiously, he reached out with his free hand and took her other one, turning a bit on the bench so that their hands rested in between them, on both their knees.

"So," he said after a long pause, his voice quiet, staring down at their hands, the torch light casting his face into shadow. He chewed his lip nervously, not sure what to say, or what to do now. They had kissed. She knew about him and about his father. What did that mean, for him? For...them, together? "You know that I'm a spy for muggles. You know that my...father...physically abuses my mum and brother." He paused, looking up, and then added as an afterthough, "and me."

He let silence fall again, breathing in and out of his nose slowly, trying to stay calm, even though his heart was pounding hard and his mind couldn't seem to decide what he should say. She had promised already that she wouldn't tell anybody, that she understood. She couldn't understand it all, really. He should probably explain some things. Tell her a history? Inform her about himself a little more? Ask her what the hell this meant, them two kissing? He sure didn't know.

"My father doesn't like magic. He's a muggle. He likes having control, but he can't control my mum, or brother, or me, not when we have powers he doesn't. So he uses his size. He's bigger than me, even," Damien said, his voice shaking even though he willed it not to. He took a large breath, before continuing. "He had hope with Denny, that he could work with him and squash out magic. He's hated me since I was born, I reckon. I was always different. I don't like sports, either, a big blow to him. When Denny finally showed magic, he...well, that's when he started beating. Either his own hands, a belt...or forcing my mum's wand on us.

"I tried to get him to target me. They didn't need it, and if it wasn't for me being born and being a wizard, mum and dad would have probably worked out whatever was wrong," Damien muttered, dropping his eyes again, feeling ashamed of what he was saying. "Escaping to Hogwarts was one of the best things that's ever happened to me. And when Denny started coming to school, we were both safe. Mum could deal with dad alright. Things seemed to look up...until last summer, when father met a muggle who had an interest in the abnormal. He was only too happy to tell the man about his son going to magical school. He left out Denny, but he..."

Damien's throat closed and he felt his eyes burned, but he merely grimaced and blinked hard, forcing himself on. "He threatened Denny and mum. He told me I had to spy, or both of them would be injured close to death. I got a sound beating that night to seal the deal. So I've been writing to an a-agency of muggles all year, informing them on stuff. I try to keep vaugue...But they contact with my father, and I'm so afraid for my mother, who won't appeal to reason and won't get away from him."

By now, his whole body was shaking, and Damien kept his eyes trained on Vivi's neck, refusing to look her in the eyes--she couldn't see how moist his were, how badly this affected him. He was strong. He showed no emotion. "I'm trying to reason with her, to find a way out. I don't know what to do. I can't tell anybody else, incase he hurts mum, because she still loves him, or she thinks she bloody does. All I can do is...is spy, and let him hit me, and hope for the best." Finally, Damien connected gazes with Vivi again. "You're the only person who knows this. Mum and my brother don't know. They don't even know of all the hits I've gotten. You're the only one."

Swallowing hard, Damien realized that his grip on Vivi's hands were tight, and he immediately relax his hands, hoping he hadn't hurt her. His face was still cast in partial shadow, but his eyes shone brightly, his face more pale than usual. His shoulders were shaking, from anger or sorrow or fear he wasn't sure which. How could he feel this, after just having kissed a beautiful woman twice? How could things just suddenly be so bad?

"You know about me, and about the spying, and my dad," Damien said softly, staring into Vivi's eyes. His face turned a bit pink as he continued. "We...we kissed...And I really, really liked it. W-what does that mean? What now?"